“Hello, friends and family! Well, except for those of you who refuse to get vaccinated because you get your medical advice from Joe Rogan. And also those of you who believe Hillary Clinton drinks the blood of babies she trafficks through a pizzeria basement. If you’ve ever muttered anything about Hunter Biden’s laptop, you’re in this group too. Y’all are dead to me.

For the rest of you, though, I thought I’d take some time to update you on how our family has fared during this, our second pandemic year. We’re alive. That’s it. That’s the update. It’s good that we’re alive, right? I’m not sure anymore.”

A Christmas Newsletter Without the Bull$*@#: I’m Sick and So Are You

“…I looked out the window and understood.  I immediately went running out the front door to chase our mailbox, WITH OUR MAIL IN IT, down the street.

On a cold late autumn day.

Without a coat or gloves on.”

Nothing Sketchy: And Then Our Mailbox Made A Run For It: The Spectacled Bean

“…Among the crowd gathered around the Christmas dinner table

There are always a few elephants

In the room

Some are small and harmless, some are big and disruptive

There are truths unspoken

And lies repeated a million times…”

The Christmas dinner table: The World Through Myopic Eyes

“There are entire blogs out there right now dedicated to naughty/fun Elf behavior.  People like Danielle over at Blossom Bunkhouse….

Blossom has 101 Fun Ideas to do with your Elf.  ONE HUNDRED AND ONE.  As a friend pointed out, there are only 25 days until Christmas – why 101?!!

I wanted to punch her as soon as I read her top 2:

1.  Have a marshmallow fight (marshmallows everywhere).
2.  Have a pillow fight (feathers everywhere).”

Overachieving Elf on the Shelf Mommies: People I Want to Punch in the Throat

“I like putting together this tweets of the week list because it reminds me not everyone out there is so angry and serious. Don’t get me wrong, we need those people, but we need some silly humor too…

6. Yes, I’m vaccinated, but not “go to your thing” vaccinated  @bautanist “

30 Tweets Everyone Should’ve Read This Week: Pleated Jeans