1. Two winter weather systems? Two weeks in a row?
2. Trust when I say North Carolinians are losing their collective sh*t right now.
3. There was no chicken at the store on Wednesday, y’all. NO CHICKEN.
4. Lucky for me I popped in yesterday and they’d restocked. Looks like we’re having quesadillas after all.
6. I guess I should mention it’s my birthday. I’m officially the Big 5-1.
7. There’s something about hitting the ones that feels different. It happened at thirty-one and forty-one too.
8. It’s like okay, you’ve hit that decade…but at thirty-one or forty-one or fifty-one? Yeah, you’re really in it now.
9. Anyway, woo hoo, here’s to one more year around the sun.
10. That’s the saying, right?
11. So we had freezing rain overnight and there’s supposed to be light snow moving in later on.
12. You know what the high temp will be today? TWENTY-EIGHT DEGREES.
13. Holy hell, Batman, that’s hibernation weather.
14. No, seriously, you won’t catch any part of me outside today.
15. Gracie won’t come when she’s called? Fine, furry butt, enjoy your cold weather romp. I’ll be right here when you’re ready to walk through the door.
16. I had to go out and drag her in one day while the backyard was still a solid sheet of ice-on-snow.
17. There I was in my sneakers, slip sliding across the surface, dragging her seventy-five pound fanny along with me…I’m just grateful she didn’t take me down.
18. Contrast this with the following day. I must have hit the right pitch when I called because Gracie turned from the fence, spotted me, and started galloping toward me at what can only be described as Kentucky Derby speed.
19. Cue me backing up ever so slightly, wondering if she’d be able to slow her momentum before plowing me over.
20. Spoiler alert: She didn’t. Luckily I managed to sidestep her offensive lineman maneuvers.
21. Phoebe, meanwhile, cowers inside the door because she is absolutely not about that cold weather life.
22. I’m fairly certain if we managed to build her an indoor latrine she’d happily potty train to avoid both rain and cold weather.
23. No, I am not suggesting this to the husband, he already thinks I’m nutty enough for having four fur babies in this house.
24. Phoebe had her cardio checkup this week and she’s holding her own. Good news.
25. Yesterday I was picking up a prescription — thus the lucky stumbling onto a restocked chicken section — when I caught sight of caucacity personified.
26. People, I was seven deep in this line. When I say folks lose their damn minds over winter weather here I mean they lose their damn minds including, apparently, pharmaceutical needs.
27. But then why were you there, Laura? AN EXCELLENT QUESTION. I shouldn’t have been. They should have had those prescriptions filled five days ago.
28. Bless It All.
29. Anyway, I was quietly standing seventh in line, checking my emails and minding my business. That’s when I heard a woman getting louder. Significantly louder.
30. Her husband came up to join her from the chairs and as they talked with the guy at the register she grew increasingly agitated. All I could think was poor Dmitri, he does not make enough to deal with this.
31. At some point this became clear to him as well. The couple shifted to the middle of the counter, freeing up Dmitri to help the next person while Old White Lady turned her attention to another employee.
32. It was around this time I noticed neither the man nor woman was wearing a mask. Side note: not shockingly, our case count is up because y’know…’Murica.
33. Do we have a mask mandate? Nope, but it said something that every other customer in the area as well as all the employees were masked up.
34. I was fielding a text from Bear asking me to check for chicken nuggets — I’m killing this mom thing, folks — when I caught rising voices from the only two unmasked people around.
35. Because I’ve got manners I don’t have details from the couples’ end, I just saw them heatedly arguing back and forth with a woman behind the counter.
36. I only had visuals until the employee rattled off an adamant I’m-not-doing-that-today-ma’am-have-a-good-day and backed away.
37. I get it. We’re all tired, we’re all stressed but damn, people. Put on a mask and be polite.
38. Yeah, I know, polite’s a pipe dream.
39. WELL THEN CALL ME A DREAMER BECAUSE I’M NOT GIVING UP.
40. Just kidding, there are absolutely days I give up because, well, people. Still, I vote we hang in there just in case 2022 pulls off some sort of miraculous reboot.