Y’all. I’m just gonna need a minute here – a wee bit of a minute with my coffee and KIND bar – to ask, with all sincerity, what in the ever-loving f*ck is happening with this pronoun uproar.

When did it become offensive to tell someone what you’d like to be called? Seriously.

When my sad little introverted self is forced into the situation I take my deep breath and say hi, I’m Laura. Never once, not one single time, have I said hi, I’m Laura, but call me whatever, I’ll answer to anything.

I mean, there was that one time in middle school but that had more to do with the fact that there were four Lauras on my soccer team. Anyway.

I saw someone call it Pronoun Announcements. As in “and then SHE announces HER pronouns are THEY/THEM and I was like HONEY…” Well now.

Listen, Sally/JimBob/Susan/Greg&Ron, I see common decency is a stretch but how ‘bout we give those muscles a workout, hmm? And considering casual conversation about preferred language isn’t, say, setting wildfires announcing a baby’s sex organs, you aren’t holding the moral high ground you think you are.

Bless. Their. Whole. Freaking. Hearts.