After a week of wearing my F*** All The Way Off Carpal Tunnel Brace™ 24 hours a day I’ve learned a few things. Now that I can finally type again let’s share a few, shall we?

This has been a crash course for someone who’s not good at asking for help. Can’t chop veggies. Can’t put away Christmas tree sections. Can’t carry heavy storage tubs to another room. Can’t type effectively. Can’t bring in groceries without making fourteen trips to the freaking car. Can’t Can’t Can’t Can’t Can’t. Like fine, I get it, we all need help sometimes and I’ll do better at asking for it NOW CAN I PLEASE JUST CUT MY OWN CHICKEN? Bless.

Cleaning up with my non-dominant hand in the bathroom is challenging for me. And that is all I’ll say about that.

Life has been an exciting high wire act. Forget and pick up a full coffee mug with the wrong hand? Alrighty then, let’s see if anyone gets scalded today!

Do I take the brace off to clean up after dinner or risk soaking it with water? Side note: this was a truly excellent time for our dishwasher to start acting up.

Can we blame the brace for my full suitcase and laundry basket sitting by our bed for nine days? Somehow I think no. Probably not.

As for the pre-brace time, let me just say this. If you ever need to have a nerve conduction exam and EMG — and I say this because I love you and we tell the truth here — do not believe the doctor when they say it is “uncomfortable.” More than one healthcare professional used this adjective and I would like to say unequivocally it is inaccurate. Not inaccurate for a writer; inaccurate for a human being. We can do hard things and all, yes we can, just be prepared for something more intense than “uncomfortable” and you’ll do fine.

And now I have to stop because my wrist is hurting. I’ll welcome any and all suggestions from those familiar with F*** All The Way Off Carpal Tunnel™. Good to be back.