“My father is black and my mother is white. While a proud, graying natural sits atop my father’s head, the genetic crapshoot of their interracial union left my hair absent of his tight curls; left my skin shades lighter. As a result, I floated in this limbo of racial ambiguity that sparked questions of identity for me far too early, and that have lingered far too long. As a child, into adolescence, and even into early adulthood, it left me feeling as other, in a constant search for where I belonged. I did not want that for my children.”
I’m a pro when it comes to running interference. P-r-o. Got a Nosy Nellie asking probing questions about one of the kids? I can nip that in the bud without breaking a sweat. Or a Meddlesome Mindy making (unintentionally) offensive comments? Yep, I can nip that sh*t, too. We’re talking NFL worthy skills, baby.
But the kids are getting older now, so my days of running interference are ticking down. More often than not T-man and Bear are out in the world, fielding offhand comments on their own. And they’re doing okay…I just wish they didn’t have to hone this skill so early.
Looking to raise a girl full of #BlackGirlMagic? Check these out.
“3. Teach her how to celebrate herself.
Your daughter should know how to brag without guilt or shame. Teach her that she has to make no apologies for her strength, her skills, or the things that she is most proud of about herself. She may not receive the acknowledgments she deserves from society, but that shouldn’t stop her from feeling amazing about herself!”
“We do the best we can with what we have.” Well, isn’t that the truth.
“But then I heard it: the truth. And let me tell you, this parenting truth is setting me free this Christmas.
I remembered the path we were on as a family eight years ago and I thought about the childhood I wanted to give my kids that was full of stuff and things and a bottomless well of never being satisfied. We played the disappointing game of comparison and no matter how much we got, we only wanted more. We tried to be like everyone else and it was exhausting and disappointing.”
“I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn’t.”
– Stephen Chbosky
You’ll never believe what my kid did yesterday. It’s not like they’re tiny tots anymore, they know how this Christmas thing goes, and we are a family who believes in the magic of Christmas. We Believe.
But we’re also realists.
We ask the kids to give us ideas for Christmas but limit them to four categories. The whole want/need/wear/read thing works for our family, so they give us suggestions for those. Then I slide a surprise in their stocking ‘cuz, you know, Christmas.
But a week ago T-man came to us and asked if he could change his Want because, well, whatever, just because. Nope, sorry fella, too late.
But yesterday he comes out of his room at 9:00 at night to say hey, listen, there’s this new game that just got released –
Are you freaking kidding me??
Yes, we believe. Yes, Christmas is magic. But you cannot change/adapt/amend your Christmas wish list three days before The Day. Dude. I get this happening at five or seven or even nine, but not now.
Sorry, man, but this Santa is flat out of miracles. Plus I just might lose my mind if I go anywhere near a shopping center today.
Linda’s stream of consciousness prompt drops on Saturdays. This week’s prompt was to start my post with “yule,” “you’ll,” or “Yul.”
I like to think of myself as a savvy person, but there were certain things my folks said growing up that flew right over my head. “Bigger than a bread box.” “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.” “Eat humble pie.” “Pleased as punch.” References to who knows what as mom and dad rambled on about one thing or another. It’s the clearest example of in one ear and out the other I’ve got.
And now? Well, I’ll be darned if I don’t see the exact same thing in my own kids.
Picklebums is throwing her hat in the ring when it comes to tech advice. Some of these I’d heard before, but some were a fresh look at a very real issue in our house. Thought I’d pass them along.
Social media moves like wild fire and it’s very hard to put out.
Part of the joy of the internet is that you can reach a whole lot of people, super fast. That means you can use the internet to do so many amazing things, but it also means that negative things can get out of control very, very, quickly. And once it’s out there it is very very difficult to get rid of it. Think about what you are sharing online, and if you are not prepared to have it shouted from the roof tops and shared with the world, keep it to yourself.”