the Groundhog Day roundabout of parenting

Groundhog Day in paradise. 

There should be a law against this.  It’s a crime against nature that a gorgeous sunset colors the water while BrightSide and I are trapped in a room, hammering out another peace accord between our kids. 

Without surveillance video, stories morph from one version to another like fog rolling across a river.  She did this.  But he did that.  No, I didn’t!  And she said this then did that.  No I didn’t!  I really didn’t!

Lawd.

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notes for our newly minted teenage son

I feel like there should be overture music here.  Something with a driving rhythm – thumping drums, blaring horn section, maybe an underlying bass line.  Perhaps the Death Star music would suffice. 

For today is the day that T-man finally, conclusively, at long last officially becomes a teenager.

“Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee…pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.  Amen.”

Okay, maybe equating parenting a teen with “the hour of our death” is a little harsh.  Mark it up to poetic license on the eve of T-man’s thirteenth birthday.

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IKEA, home goods, and whether color matters

“Do you have these cups?  Everyone I know has these cups…I can’t help from paying attention to which color I’m giving to the kids.  I know, I know, I’m not supposed to teach them that color matters, and I’m just supposed to grab the two cups from the top of the pile and put them on the table without thinking about it.  But I don’t. 

Because do you know what happens when I put the pink cup down in front of my son?  A shitstorm of monumental proportions.  And I can try to reason with him and tell him color doesn’t matter, but by this point he’s wailing and past the point of no return and he’d rather die of thirst.”

Should we talk to our kids about race? – Baby Sideburns

a few phrases to tuck away in that back pocket

Sometimes parenting gems fall in my lap.  Well, life gems, really.  Those phrases that make it possible to roll on through the day without taking somebody’s head off.  Phrases like Try Harder.  They come from friends, memes (yes, seriously), articles, billboards – hell, I’m open to any and all input that gets me through. 

Today I thought I’d pass a couple more along.  Phrases that have literally saved my sanity time and again.  With practice, these gems can serve you well, too.

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if it takes a village, sometimes I live in Siberia

At the risk of seeming like I have a split personality, we’ve got some pretty decent kids.  I’ve written more than a few posts ranting about one thing or another so this might sound like a flip flop to you, but the reality is that we’ve invested a great amount of time, effort, and energy into making sure our kids don’t act like a**holes.  I’d say we’re basically winning on that one. 

It’s not like it’s been a cakewalk, though.  As a matter of fact, sometimes it feels like we’re swimming upstream in the quest to produce nonasshole upstanding citizens for society.  Someone cue the world’s tiniest violin: would someone remind me why on earth I have to fight people on this?

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kids, technology, and a contract to save your sanity

Yes, we’re midway through summer, but I still think this is a worthwhile read for those of us dealing with kids and technology.

“I felt a wave of sadness.

Because I know that without constant monitoring, unplugging and resisting my kids’ desire for more technology, this could be us. And I’m guessing balance is probably a struggle for most families, too. I know some have simply stopped struggling against it and just given in. I get it.

We are in an unprecedented era of technology that none of us have ever experienced. And we really don’t know the effect it will have on our children.”

Hey Internet- Let’s Have an Honest Talk About Screens This Summer – Kristen Welch

yep, killing it over here. parenting. life. relativity. you know, the usual.

There are oh so many ways I’m busy killing it over here.  I know, I know, it’s hard to watch someone knocking balls out of the park, but what can I say.  It’s a talent. 

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“Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?”  – Rick Riordan

**  I’ve got three of Bear’s friends crammed in the backseat and we’re on the way to a lock-in at the trampoline park.  It’s a 45 minute drive, just long enough for them to crank some tunes.  More than long enough for me to sing along at the top of my lungs.

**  Bear, T-man, and I were treating ourselves to burgers and sundaes one night when what may be the worst singer ev-er took stage and began banging out covers on his keyboard.  If eardrums could burst from offensive music then we would have finished off dinner in urgent care.  As it was I figured I could lighten the mood with a little diner booth boogie.  The looks of utter horror on my kids’ faces made the whole experience worthwhile.

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SoCS (belated) – reality check

The lovely Linda posts her stream of consciousness prompt on Fridays.  I saw this topic come across my feed, but I was off the grid this weekend so I wrote my post longhand.  (I’m old school like that.)  I’m now transcribing it, word for word, punctuation mark for punctuation mark, without a bit of day after editing.  Pinky promise.

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The ’70s were a rough and tumble time to be a kid.  There was no bubble wrap parenting when kids played unsupervised until the streetlights came on.  Playdates were unheard of when kids just congregated at one house until they were fed and kicked out to another.

It left a lot of opportunity for, um, adventure.

“Why are you back so early?”  Well, Kim tried to jump the creek and crashed her bike in front of me.  Then I ran over her leg and she had to go home.  It was awful.  “But did she die?”

“How was your day?”  Great until they served tuna salad in the cafeteria.  “Okay, but did you die?”

“Why are there 40 BandAid wrappers on the counter?”  We were playing roller derby in the cul-de-sac.  “So?”  I fell a few times.  “But did you die?  No.  So don’t waste all our BandAids – money doesn’t grow on trees.


Linda’s SoCS prompt inspires fun writing.  This week’s prompt was “book title.”  Instructions: Take the title of the book you’re currently reading or the one sitting closest to you when you’re ready to write your SoCS post and base your post on the title only.  My book is But Did You Die? Setting the Parenting Bar Low by A Bunch of Know It Alls.