Ever had one of those weeks when your brain’s all jumbled? When thoughts are bouncing around like a box of ping pong balls dropped down a flight of stairs? Yeah, it’s been like that around here. For me, anyway.
Which makes writing for Fridays a little difficult since, by their nature, Forever Family posts require focus. After two failed attempts I’ve realized I’m trying to shove a square peg in a round hole, and I’ve given that up for Lent.
Foster parents are made of strong stuff.
They find it within themselves to open their hearts and homes to children in need, offering a stable life to young people struggling to find their way.
They work to maintain relationships between children and their biological families, often while those families are working through their own issues. They take charge over souls who have experienced unspeakable trauma and walk with them through the fire of recovery.
And they love these kids deeply, unconditionally, despite the fact that they might only be in their lives for a short while.
Lately I’ve been thinking about my younger days.
See that sweet face? (Yeah, BrightSide, too.) How innocent, how naive…ready to go along to get along, keep the peace, calm the waters no matter what.
Well, lately I’ve been thinking about what I’d tell that 20-something me.
Writing a stream of consciousness birthday post was so much fun I thought we’d roll with it for Forever Family. (I first stumbled across this concept over at The Captain’s Speech. Paul’s sharp wit keeps me in giggles – you should check out his blog.)
So buckle up and let’s go.
We’ve been off the grid so I’ll be flying by the seat of my pants for this week’s Forever Family. A bit of stream of consciousness thinking, if you will. Bear with me.
We love Christmas.
BrightSide hangs wreaths on the front of the house every year. We light them with spotlights in the evening, washing the whole house in a Christmas glow, and it’s quite a sight when we return after dark to a home bathed in the spirit of the season.
Pretty white lights are tucked into our Christmas tree, spiraling upward toward the ceiling. Bright red bows add splashes of color while years of ornaments pepper the branches high and low. Ones I’ve hung since my own childhood, ones from my teaching years, ones for T-man and Bear. Our tree is one long memory walk…my eyes flit from branch to branch, remembering family celebrations and mom’s crafts and the small gold angel my own grandma gave me years ago.
BrightSide has the honor of adding our angel to the top. (Translation: no one’s crazy enough to think me tottering at the top of a ladder to balance the angel is a good idea.) She’s serene and seems to emanate kindness with her gaze, and our tree never quite seems complete until she’s looking down over our family.
It was the most overpriced dinner ever. I typically avoid buffets because I can’t shake the feeling my inability to eat large amounts in short periods of time makes me the person who covers the quadruple plate crowd’s cost. And while buffets seem like the perfect solution for a picky eater, Bear actually needs less choices, not more. $20 for 2 egg rolls, 4 fries, 2 bites of chicken, 1 bite of the other chicken, 2 cubes of jello, and a cup of ice cream made my eyes roll back in my head.
It may have been her discarded plate with bread that “has some kind of sauce on it” and “the thing that just looks weird” that knocked this place permanently off my list.
Then again, the company was perfect.
I’ve been thinking back on my Forever Family topics, things that have moved me since I began writing the series, and what sticks with me is this…man, I hope these don’t come off as whiny finger pointing rants.
A few posts have talked about me and my own issues but the vast majority have looked at other people’s perceptions, my kids’ emotions, and how adoption affects (or doesn’t affect) our everyday lives. All worthwhile topics, true, but in the pursuit of balance let’s turn that focus inward.
Pregnant women scare me.