check out *this* new year’s truth bomb

Ah, the second week of January, when new year’s resolutions are fresh and there’s no parking to be found within three blocks of the Y.

“There is a vicious rumor going around that it’s the new year. Fake news strikes again. Sad.

Oh wait… Shit… It is the new year.

Well, I guess that explains the recent tsunami of articles about “How to Go to the Gym,” “How to Keep Going to the Gym,” “How to Get to the Gym,” “How to Stay at the Gym Once You Get There,” “How to Not Just Buy a T-Shirt From the Gym That Says, ‘Namasté Fit’ and Then Never Return,” etc.

Yes, people descend on the gym on new years like people descend on the grocery store at news of an approaching storm.”

Fuck the Gym: Damn, Girl. Get Your Shit Together

 

I never dreamed of being an accountant…

I swore I wouldn’t look at the numbers.

I blog for me, I said.  For my own happiness.  Do I enjoy my time writing?  Does it help fulfill my creative side?  (The answer to all those is yes, by the way.)  Numbers are just that…numbers.  What an impersonal way to think about RFTM.

I made it about three days.

So yeah, I caved and checked the stats, and you know what?  That made me feel good, too.

No, I didn’t go viral and touch a million lives in 2017, but I already knew that.  I did find out that RFTM follows the Slow and Steady philosophy.

2015 to 2016, then 2016 to 2017.  Each year grew, both in total and average daily views.  Just about doubled, as a matter of fact.

Writing RFTM makes me happy.  The fact that more people enjoy visiting?  Well, I’m tickled pink.

SoCS – resolution/ruining my life, po-tay-to/po-tah-to

Resolution’s such a loaded word this time of year.  I’m tempted to look back at last year’s post, say, around New Year’s Eve, but what if I find I broke my track record and made some 2017 resolutions?  Worse yet, what if I blew them off?

Ignorance is bliss.

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Center Stage: 12/29/17

Top Five Problems with Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer – And they have nothing to do with the nose: nickclaussen.com

The red nose needed to guide the sleigh through the fog – I fail to see how someone’s glowing or shiny nose is able to make that much of a difference in the fog.  Why can’t Santa just fly above the fog?  What is Santa worried about running into, other flying reindeer?  And if the nose really is super bright, wouldn’t that be a detriment in the fog?”

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What NOT to F’ing Give Your Wife this Holiday: Baby Sideburns

“5. Do not give me my present in the Amazon box.  This includes popping a bow on top of the Amazon box.  This also includes putting the Amazon box INTO a gift bag.  Step one, open the Amazon box.  Step two, put the item in a gift bag.  Step three, kick your own ass if you don’t do this.”

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SoCS – English major affliction

I can’t hear the word contrast without thinking about compare/contrast, as in “Compare and contrast character motivations in Pride and Prejudice as they relate to the patriarchal society of the era.”

Yeah, like that.  It’s probably an English major affliction.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my major, but there was something about those blue book exams that caused a sweaty panic in even the coolest cat there.  And I wasn’t the coolest cat there.

After years of fielding questions about compare/contrast, you start to see everything in relation to each other.  Shades of blue, sliding temperatures in winter, fiction versus nonfiction, personality traits.  Types of cars, life stages, hobbies, movies, types of glue.

Holy crap, my mind is blown.  Nothing stands alone.

I guess if I had to pick my favorite thing to contrast it would be ice cream.  ‘Cuz, you know, ice cream.

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.


Linda’s weekly stream of consciousness is a writing adventure for Saturdays.  This week’s prompt is “contrast.”

Share Your World 12/11/17

Our friend Cee’s having internet issues this week (and who hasn’t experienced that?) so I get to make up my very own Share Your World questions this week.  Woo hoo!

Hope your system resolves soon, Cee.  Click on over and check out the awesome photography on her blog!

Is your second toe longer than your big toe?

Yep.  It turns out this has a name – Morton’s Toe.  Internet research (yes, I look up medical stuff on the internet, sue me) tells you about the physiology of Morton’s Toe, but I had this recent consult with someone in holistic medicine who had some interesting notes.  Among others, that people who have Morton’s Toe usually don’t remember their dreams and may have a greater tendency toward anxiety or mild depression.

What happens when the dogs dream?

Sometimes my pooches just take a little nap but occasionally they’ll drop into REM sleep.  When they’re dreaming I see everything from paws jerking, eyes rolling back so only the whites show, or whiskers and the fur around their eyes twitching.  Every so often they’ll even make noises – muted barks and even a high pitched keening once.  Bear’s convinced Phoebe’s having a seizure and wants to wake her up but come on…how pissed would you be if someone woke you every time you moved at night?

What’s on your closet floor right now?

Bwahahahahaha!!!  Can we say “everything” and leave it at that?  There are two baskets of clean (but entirely jumbled up because I keep pulling stuff out) clothes that need to be put away, dirty clothes (because the baskets are full of clean ones), slippers, boots, and random boxes full of stuff that I still haven’t reorganized into our bathroom.

Name five books on your bookshelf.

(Yes, I own real books.  Call me old fashioned.)

**  When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön.

**  Loving What Is by Byron Katie.

**  Room by Emma Donoghue.

**  Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton

**  The GiverGathering BlueMessenger, and Son  series by Lois Lowry

Name something that inspired you this week.

Watching my friend baptize a baby yesterday.  I could tell what a meaningful moment it was for him to be a part of that family’s journey, and that was pretty inspirational.

lessons from a relocated Floridian

As someone who spent approximately 424 days eking out an existence in Massachusetts, this post Cracked Me Up.  Seriously, man, it is da bomb diggety.  And an invaluably informative piece for anyone considering relocation.

“I’ve recently moved out of Florida, a state I had lived in my entire life, and am sitting on the precipice of my very first winter that won’t involve sweat.  I don’t think it’s going to go well.  I am woefully unprepared for this shock to my system…So, I feel it’s my obligation as a Floridian to prepare any of my fellow Sunshine Staters should they be packing up and heading this way.  There are things I must tell you.

●  First of all, if you’re thinking about moving north or are in the process, ABORT MISSION.  You are absolutely, without a doubt, definitely going to die.  I’m not even exaggerating.  Okay, there may be some slight embellishment there, but no there isn’t, you are going to die.  It’s cold up north.  Have you heard about this?  There are other states where the average daily temperature isn’t hot as balls!  I’m serious!”

A South Floridian’s Guide To Moving North: I’m Sick and So Are You