why older parents have no idea wtf the dating world is like for our kids

Apparently the kids these days have embraced a “talking” phase in dating.  Best I can tell it’s an opening salvo of we like each other but do we LIKE like each other?  Enough to stop seeing other people?  We’re not 100% sure so why don’t we just text until one of us is driven insane trying to read the level of interest between the lines.

Sounds like good times indeed.

“One minute, everything’s great.  He’s texting you back, you’re procrastinating your homework because finding out if you two are more like Noah and Ally or Sandy and Danny is more important than school.  Then BAM.  Out of nowhere, you’re with three of your friends, on your bedroom floor, deciphering texts like mad scientists, looking for any possibility or inkling that he may have the same feelings as you have.”

Total Sorority Move | The Talking Phase Is Ruining My Life

Sunday Snapshot: you are worthy

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February 2017

Lessons for our Daughter

You are worthy.

Helping you prepare for the father/daughter dance was a precious gift for me.

It’s not your fancy dress and shoes I’ll remember years from now.  It’s carrying an armload of dresses into the fitting room together.  It’s seeing you decide what makes you feel good.  It’s watching you twirl in each dress and laughing ourselves silly over nothing at all.

You sit patiently as my fingers work braids into your hair, and with each one I’m weaving my love into your heart.

You take my breath away when you’re zipped into your dress, and wearing your grandmother’s earrings is my undoing.  I explain they are happy tears but you fold me into your arms anyway, accepting my love and giving yours in return.

We see you, inside and out, and are dazzled by your beauty.  Everyone you love should be willing to recognize your true self and celebrate you for all you are.

You should see yourself for who you truly are.  Recognize your gifts and live into your potential.  You bring your own light into this world.

The look on your face when your dad pulls up is priceless.  Remember this.  Anyone you give your heart to should make you feel as if you’re about to begin a new adventure together.

Someone who cares about you will show respect.  Walking you to the car, opening your door, looking for ways to make your day better – the little things can be the most telling. 

Life will never be perfect.  Those you love should bring you joy and help share your sorrows.  You may squabble, but you should also be able to work through it.  In the grand scheme of things, the scales should always tip enough that you are happy to see one another at the end of the day.

Stand tall, sweet girl.  You are loved truly and deeply.

And know that you are worthy.

Sunday Snapshot: a dazzling love

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Watching them that day was like seeing unbridled joy collide with utter adoration.  Love and delight shone all around them, brighter than the sun as a blast of energy exploded out of the water, spinning furiously through the air before crashing with a dazzling splash.

It was one of those moments forever frozen in time, precious for both T-man and Bear’s love for BrightSide and his limitless devotion to them.

gratitude: it’s all in the timing

Hundreds of stars had to align so that I would meet BrightSide at exactly the right moment in my life.

My dad had to be stationed in Virginia during my high school years so UVA would even be on my radar.  I had to love Virginia enough to want to return for college, even though everyone around me was applying to New England schools.  BrightSide had lots of great Virginia schools to choose from, then he had to decide he’d rather attend UVA than play basketball for a smaller school.

We had to meet each other amidst 13,000+ undergraduate students.  Somehow we landed ourselves in the same public speaking class, but we were both involved in serious relationships at the time.  Meaning we both had to end up leaving those serious relationships and then somehow run into each other again.  At a school with over 13,000 people wandering around.  Yep.

Then, in the ultimate cosmic twist, BrightSide and I not only ran into each other at a party but we met again the very day that we’d split from those other relationships.

Now, who can argue with timing like that?

Fate, the universe, God’s master plan – whatever you choose to call it, the stars certainly aligned so the two of us met at exactly the right moment.  And my life has been all the better for it.


My post as part of Colline’s Gratitude Project.

gratitude: amour, amore, amor

I consider myself a hard worker.  Committed.  Diligent.  Conscientious.  I try to do more good than harm, and I’m working on the whole peaceful coexistence concept.

But none of this has a thing to do with the single greatest blessing in my life.

I’ve been blessed with a spouse who supports me in every way.  He celebrates my successes, mourns my sorrows, and holds my hand when I’m deep in the weeds.  There’s absolutely nothing I can’t tell him…no problem we can’t work through together, no mistake he can’t help me move past.  I’m a stronger woman for knowing him, and for that I’m forever grateful.

BrightSide’s boundless love and support give me wings to fly.  Confidence to shoot for the stars, knowing he’ll be right there beside me no matter what.

It’s a love that has made all the difference in the world.

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My post as part of Colline’s Gratitude Project.

the second set of marriage vows

They say the life of a writer is a solitary pursuit.  Well, that may be so for a lot of people, but I’ve already climbed on board this family train so it’s full steam ahead for me.

In the interest of not destroying my relationship while writing RFTM, I’ve established my own particular Blogger Marriage Vows.  So here it is, BrightSide…from me to you.

Continue reading

Sunday Snapshot: what we remember

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This is what they will remember:

You, watching them swim,
laughing at their antics while they call out, "Dad, look at this!"

You, smiling at their joyful noise
that disturbs the herons and sends the fishermen scattering.

You, tirelessly patient as you teach them how to
tie a lure, inflate a tube, wakeboard, and play ping pong.

You, and your enthusiastic yes.
Sure, I'll take you out on the boat.  Great, let's play pool.
I'd love to have your help making pancakes.
You want to go to the dock?  Let me grab my swimsuit.

This is what I will remember:

Your eyes crinkling while you watch them play, 
always, always calling out "ready!" then witnessing their latest trick.

You, smiling at their giggles as they try to surf the wake,
bobbing up and down on the waves like corks,
then laughing with them as they crash into the water.

Your kind and gentle spirit enveloping each one,
encouraging them to try something new, patiently teaching them
until you see the glimmer of success in their eyes.

You, marking time by the love you share with our kids.
The yes you give even when the day is long and demands are many.
Your open heart that says yes to theirs as they reach out to spend time
with the man they love more than any other.

These are the things we will remember...
The love, the love, the love.


- ljh  6/26/16