I’m a pro when it comes to running interference. P-r-o. Got a Nosy Nellie asking probing questions about one of the kids? I can nip that in the bud without breaking a sweat. Or a Meddlesome Mindy making (unintentionally) offensive comments? Yep, I can nip that sh*t, too. We’re talking NFL worthy skills, baby.
But the kids are getting older now, so my days of running interference are ticking down. More often than not T-man and Bear are out in the world, fielding offhand comments on their own. And they’re doing okay…I just wish they didn’t have to hone this skill so early.
Picklebums is throwing her hat in the ring when it comes to tech advice. Some of these I’d heard before, but some were a fresh look at a very real issue in our house. Thought I’d pass them along.
Social media moves like wild fire and it’s very hard to put out.
Part of the joy of the internet is that you can reach a whole lot of people, super fast. That means you can use the internet to do so many amazing things, but it also means that negative things can get out of control very, very, quickly. And once it’s out there it is very very difficult to get rid of it. Think about what you are sharing online, and if you are not prepared to have it shouted from the roof tops and shared with the world, keep it to yourself.”
Ten Things I Want My Tweens to Know About Social Media – Picklebums
I am. As sure as the sun rises in the east and warm cookies are like crack, I most certainly am smarter than a middle schooler.
Now if we’re talking prodigy then no, my IQ points won’t come out on top, but as for your average, run of the mill, hormone driven middle school student? Yeah. I got it covered.
So why are my kids convinced they can pull the wool over my eyes with, frankly, the lamest stories ever?
We’re getting awfully close to a time when we’ll need our own Guide for dating Princess. Thankfully, Ah dad has gotten the ball rolling already.
“It’s like giving birth for fathers. A cold blade piercing your soul. And it’s not that she doesn’t look at you in the same way, it’s just that you have an icy reminder that one of these years you will have to give her away to another man…
Low and behold, the inevitable is happening. My contractions have begun. Princess has a crush. She claims friendship but I’ve never look at any of my friends the same way she looks at him. So just to be on the safe side, I felt it important to edit and publish my Guide for dating Princess. I trust he would be reading this…”
She’s crushing! Noooooo!!! | Ah dad…
“When it comes to technology and the kids nothing promised is permanent, nothing is etched in stone. We try something and if it works, great. If not? Well, we try something else…
Which brings us to our latest shift. It seems even our best efforts can’t get the kids enough non-screen time altogether, so BrightSide came up with the
radical idea of no screens on Sundays. I’ll repeat that. An entire day without technology. None. At all. Every single week.”
The goal of Friday’s post, basically, was the hope that sending good thoughts out into the universe might bless us with a semi-peaceful attempt at living tech-free for a day. I wasn’t looking for Ghandi-like enlightenment, just sixteen or so hours with limited squabbling.
Here’s how it went.
Last week I took Bear to get her hair trimmed. I’m not winning any awards in this area – I’ve been known to go an entire year before remembering Bear needs a haircut, and since she isn’t really styling it I just take her to my own hairdresser. Now, Penny is awesome and does a good cut, but she’s a white gal from Boston who mostly works with senior citizens. Not exactly a cultural experience for Bear. Then again, Penny’s scrupulous about getting the haircut right so I guess I could be doing worse.
But I digress.
It was movie night at the house and we were introducing T-man to Hitch, one of my favorite rom-coms ever. Will Smith is da bomb, y’all. Just sayin’.
So we came to a kissing scene and I could actually see T-man shrinking into his chair. Through sheer force of will he managed to decrease his body mass by .8% and would have, were it possible, sunk straight through the floor.
I shouldn’t find this funny, right?
me: So what’s your favorite subject so far?
T-man: Math. That is definitely math.
me: What’s the most important school supply you have?
T-man: (laughs) That little fold up binder thing that I have that you bought me. (a Trapper Keeper)
me: And…if you could sub for a teacher for one day, who would it be and why?
T-man: The Spanish teacher because I do not care for her at all so I would get rid of her in any way possible.
[Well then, it looks like we’re off to a good start.]