We’ve gotta talk about it, guys.

Trigger warning: this is a hard post. It talks about gun violence, domestic violence, and sexual assault. Please skip if you do not have the bandwidth for this one.

A news story broke Sunday 4/19/26 out of Shreveport, Louisiana. 31-year-old Shamar Elkins committed a mass shooting. He shot and killed eight children, seven of whom were his; the children ranged in ages from 5- to 11-years old. He also shot the mother of his children as well as the mother of the eighth child. The women survived very serious and life-threatening injuries.

Shamar Elkins and his wife were in the process of separating.

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On Thursday 4/16/26 authorities found Dr. Cerina Fairfax and her estranged husband, former Virginia Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax dead in their home. Justin Fairfax had murdered his wife then killed himself. They were in the middle of a divorce and a judge had ordered Justin Fairfax to move out of the house by the end of the month. (source story at AP)

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These are just two of the stories recently in the news. Asa Todd reposted from leadingladiesafrica (link to original post) about the 12 Black women found dead in 4 months in America. (You can find Asa’s post here.) Several of the women were pregnant, several were killed by partners, all are gone far too soon.

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On Thursday 3/26/26 CNN released the results of their monthslong investigation into the internet realm of drug-facilitated sexual assault. (Please note: You will scroll through six pages before reaching the core article.) It delves into the global websites and chat rooms where men share tips and videos of sexually assaulting their wives and partners after drugging them.

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The level of violence men perpetrate upon women is a story old as time — this isn’t a new phenomenon, we simply have greater access to information. But we need to be gravely concerned about the dismantling of women’s rights in America. We need to pay attention to how this leads to increased violence against women.

We need women to unpack how our internalized misogyny is upholding the system. The ways we judge women, center men, and reflexively accept gender roles and assumptions without questioning them all play a part in creating a dangerous imbalance. (Looking to do this work? Here’s someplace to start learning.)

We need men to call each other out every time, without fail, for problematic attitudes toward women. Many men who commit violence against women don’t start with smacking them around. It starts with snide comments about a woman’s place, aggressive behavior in dating, and toxic masculinity that affects attitudes toward gender. There are good men out there — most women recognize that — but you’ll run into plenty of us who say it’s all men until it’s none of them. Because if you’re sitting silent while your coworker or buddy is cracking “harmless jokes” you’re sitting silent while kernels take root.

We need to believe women — ALL women — have inherent worth and deserve to live freely and fairly.

We deserve to live.