Let’s see what Melanie has for April Fool’s Day.

Rhetorical Questions

Why is it called “beauty sleep” when one wakes up looking like a troll??

Because once we reach troll-like status (aka once life drags its heels across our face) sleep is our best escape. Women were looking for a surefire way to avoid arguing about quitting for the day – convincing a man those eight hours of sleep are actually for his benefit is pretty freaking brilliant when you think about it.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Beats me. It’s not like they can get an infection.

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?

Maybe for those folks who spontaneously move to Germany, hit the autobahn, and find those stretches where it’s legal to drive like a bat out of hell. If I were gonna hit 120mph or above then I guess I’d like to know the moment I did it. Just in case the hyperventilating and “OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP” didn’t give it away.

Did they purposely make dyslexia hard to spell?

Yes.

(Rather naughty):  If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Bwahahahaha!!!

Odd Questions

What are some things that are okay to do occasionally but definitely not okay to do every day?

For me it’s sleeping in late, taking 90 minutes to enjoy breakfast, lazing around before taking a shower, and grabbing an afternoon nap. Those are all glorious things on their own but taken together it’s an easy way to lose an entire day. There’s also a cascading effect – if I do this Monday then I’m lazier Tuesday, and if I do it Tuesday then Wednesday’s a wash. I think you see where this ends up.

What is the most embarrassing thing you have ever worn?

Prairie skirts. What the hell.

In your opinion, what’s the best type of cheese?

I’m a big fan of the mozzarella. Huge. We’re talking worship at the altar of freshly grated goodness.

What are some fun ways to answer everyday questions like “how’s it going” or “what do you do”?

“How’s it going?”

    • Fluffy.
    • Sideways.
    • Balls to the wall.
    • Mercury’s in retrograde.

Miscellaneous

Have you ever sent a text message to the wrong person?   Details please.

I’m obsessively conscientious about who I text. Probably because I misdirected a snarky e-mail to my dad once and almost died of embarrassment. And that’s all the details you’re gonna get about that.

If you could make a rule for a day, and everyone had to follow it, what would it be?

BE KIND. Kind to strangers, kind to friends, kind to everyone.

You are about to get in a fight, what song comes on your mind soundtrack?

Fight Song by Rachel Platten.

Share a joke, if you know a good one!

I know no jokes. It’s a little quirk of mine – I can hear a hundred and not retain a single one. Is that a skill?

Sparks from a Combustible Mind hosts Share Your World.