and then there was tequila (AKA say hi to the worm)

Let’s face it…sometimes the best self-preservation tool in my kit is disengaging from these overly hormonal, angsty young people and spending time with my delightfully snarky friends. During this time there may or may not be tequila involved (though I wouldn’t lay odds on the latter).  But hey, on the bright side I figure it keeps my hands busy so I don’t end up snatching some smart ass tween off their feet.

Can I get a holla?!?  (And some shot glasses.)

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Share Your World #43

What are you really glad you did yesterday?

Snuggled up with Phoebe and napped for a couple of hours.

Would you prefer a one floor house or multiple levels?

For years I imagined a beautiful multi-level home for my family and me.  When I finally saw my dream house (yes, I’ve actually walked through it) it was indeed two stories and filled with the little things that made my heart go pitter pat.  But I can’t imagine anything other than a single floor now that I’ve spent seven years in our home where everything’s on one level with only the bonus room and attic on the second floor.  Frankly, I really don’t miss the stairs.

Have you done something you truly want to do today?

Yes.  I’ve had that second cup of coffee, I’m taking time to blog, and I looked both of my dogs deeply in the eyes and told them how much I love them.

What plans did you have as a teenager that didn’t happen?  Are you happy it didn’t work out that way?

Until I met BrightSide I wasn’t what you’d call a planner.  That was how I worked a job in my teen years with nothing to show for it but some new clothes and junk food while my friend bought herself a used car – long term vision wasn’t exactly my forte.  I’m quite certain there were plans my sixteen year old self made that didn’t happen, but darned if I can think of what they were.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and are you looking forward to in the week coming up?

I’m grateful for the love and support of my family and friends.  Last week I felt once again how boundless it is, and I am truly blessed.

This week I’m looking forward to finding some space to just be.


Cee’s Share Your World is a weekly feature and all are welcome to join in.

What’s going on in your world?

15 ways you know you’re old as dirt

“Life is like a hot bath.  It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.”
– author unknown


15 signs you’re aging toward the golden years


Your daughter is genuinely distraught when you wear a short skort.  But mom, it’s so SHORT! But mom, you’re a MOM!  But mom, you’re so…OLD!  Ummm, yeah.


Hair appointment scheduling shifts.  You move from biannual trims to appointments every other month.  You add highlights or maybe some color.  Eventually covering the gray is a real time commitment.  At first you color every six weeks, then every five, then monthly.  Eventually you’ll be one of those ladies showing up for her weekly hair appointment.  Bless.


The floor is much further away than it once was.  Now an item’s weight factors heavily into whether you move it.  The horrifically heavy planter?  It doesn’t look so bad in that corner when you think about what it will take to move it across the room.


Suddenly it’s entirely possible to pull a muscle walking the dog.


Picking up that dropped pencil is a conscious decision.  There’s three more right there on the counter…is it really necessary to get all the way down to that floor?


Fiber becomes a critical part of your diet.


Sensible shoes make up the majority of your footwear.


A typical day finds you in everything from tank tops to fleece, shorts to sweats.  Often a day’s wardrobe is comprised of a series of layering – fleece top on, sweats off.  Add sweats then change to tank.  Put fleece back on before stripping to tank and shorts.  It’s like existing in an igloo that periodically bursts into flame.


You develop gorilla arm syndrome.  Anything without large print is held at arm’s length and tilted toward the light in an attempt to decipher ridiculously small words.


Creaking and cracking sounds no longer send you sprinting to the doctor.


The dermatologist now says delightful things during your exam like “Hmmm…well, I see something here, but it’s symmetrical and a good color…nope, that’s a typical age spot.”


Shaky hands don’t necessarily mean you’re nervous anymore.


People look at you curiously when you fall asleep in public.  Interestingly enough, you don’t give a damn.


A black hole appears in your home.  One that only attracts keys, wallets, purses, lipstick, single socks, and the occasional Post It note.


If someone interrupts you mid sentence there’s a 96.5% chance that two minutes later you’ll have no idea what you were saying.

mere mortals can medal, too

A post on events for the average human because we still can’t get enough of the Olympics, even as Halloween draws near.  (Otherwise known as: I earmarked this two months ago and completely forgot to repost it but DAMN, we could use a few more laughs around here.)


“Synchronized Liking

When you’re out with a group and someone posts a photo and everyone in attendance takes out their phone to ‘like’ it at the same time.

High Barstool

When you’re going to sit at the bar but first you have to figure out how to get your ass on what appears to be an unusually tall barstool designed to humiliate you, so you try to shimmy up without having to do a full hop and hoist, and somehow by the grace of Guinness you make it into the seat.

Women’s Singles

When you’re a woman on your period and you eat individual slices of cheese from the package because, what, do you have a problem with that?  Are you giving me a look?  Have you never seen a woman eat slices of cheese before?” 

Olympic Events Reimagined for the Modern Mortal – Sass & Balderdash

Sunday Snapshot: charitable views of men


Barcelona, Spain

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.  Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”

– Mark Twain

when the learning curve is more like a learning crawl

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Why oh why oh WHY?!?

T-man and Bear are some pretty sharp tacks, but there are things that seem to be simply beyond comprehension for these kids.  Now, to be fair they are children, so it’s not like I’m expecting them to understand nuclear fusion or metaphysics.  They’ve gotta have something to study in college, after all.

That being said, there are some very basic concepts that I’d really think would be no brainers by now.  Unless I say “when you feel like it” then I truly mean “now, please” when I give an instruction, regardless of whatever iPad game has its hooks in you.  “Putting your shoes away” means a great deal more than shoving them under the nearest coffee table or chair. Leaving empty boxes in the pantry is just mean, and dirty clothes don’t teleport themselves to the laundry room.

But today?  Today we’re talking about trash versus recycling.

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SoCS – the almighty shortcut

It was a true hallelujah moment when GPS systems for the car were invented.  For directionally challenged and anxious drivers like me, having a satellite tracking my movement so as to give me turn by turn directions wasn’t the least bit creepy.  Just the opposite – it was heaven sent. Something that allowed me to concentrate on the road around me instead of splitting focus between traffic, written directions, and any fun travel surprises along the way.

Traveling old school was a lot more stressful.

First I had to get directions, but not just any directions; they had to be ones that made sense to me.  Don’t tell me to drive a mile – I’m bad at measuring distances so that just meant my eyes would be plastered to the odometer as I drive.  Don’t tell me to turn where the old sock mill used to be – I didn’t grow up here and have no idea what you’re talking about.  Don’t tell me to head west on 40 because, for real, there are days when I have no idea what’s west of me.

But the absolute worst was The Shortcut.  As in, “You’re heading to ___?  I’ve got the greatest shortcut for you, it’ll take 30 minutes off your trip.”  Or “Well, if the interstate’s backed up just take the shortcut that puts you behind Northwestern Elementary, brings you out at the Exxon, and from there it’s just a hop, skip, and a jump to the mall.”

It’s not that I’m against the shortcut.  I love to save time as much as the next person, and there are few things I despise as much as sitting S-T-I-L-L in traffic.  But I’ve found the problem with shortcuts lie in the fact that I’m rarely as intimately familiar with the traffic area as the person speaking, which leaves me with two choices:  Nod enthusiastically, agreeing with what a great route it is, while not having a single clue what they’re talking about.  Alternatively, stare blankly at my helpful direction giver and finally admit that they’re basically speaking Latin. This inevitably leads to their trying at least three more ways to get me to understand their shortcut, with each explanation sending me further down the shame spiral because what kind of adult drives around like this?!

These days my GPS is so advanced that I can get it to reroute me through a shortcut.  Save time and get step by step directions while I drive?  Yes, please.

SoCS 2

Linda’s weekly Stream of Consciousness prompt is open to one and all.  Click the link to check out its rules and participating blogs.  This week’s prompt was to use a word with “ho” in it.  My word is “shortcut.”

Forever Family: the life not lived

A beautiful young girl, one with boundless kindness and a sweet demeanor, found herself cruelly thrown into a life of servitude by her stepmother.

A long-awaited child is taken from her parents’ home and raised by a witch.  She grows to become the most beautiful child in the world, and in her twelfth year she is locked away in a tower in the woods.

The Good Queen gives birth to a precious daughter before passing away.  Eventually the king takes a beautiful second wife who is both wicked and vain.  When the daughter becomes more beautiful than the angry Queen she sends her into the woods to be slaughtered.


I gotta say, fairy tales haven’t exactly done women many favors.  First mothers are idealized, adored, memorialized as beautiful and kind.  Second mothers are cruel, indifferent, abusive…sometimes even criminal.

It makes you wonder what kind of mommy issues the Brothers Grimm had.

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