verb: (of one person) to perform two or more tasks simultaneously

There’s virtue in being able to maintain a singular focus when working.  At least I’ve found it useful the few times I’ve managed to do so.  When you zero in on your goal, utterly committed to stick to the work until you’ve achieved your objective, the job can go remarkably fast.

It’s not like I’ll say having six things going on at once makes for ideal working conditions, but I accept that I live in the real world.  And in my world, typically, six things are going on at once. So I learned to adapt and thrive.

Which means I can’t help but wonder…how on earth hasn’t the male species died out by now?

I mean, seriously.

As a whole, I’m consistently stunned into silence when confronted by the deficit in multitasking skills by my friends and loved ones of the male persuasion.

Not so much that they can’t return e-mails, watch tv, and carry on a conversation simultaneously.  I mean, I don’t get that, but I figure that’s their problem to solve.  It’s that they literally seem deaf to anything other than the task at hand (be that playing solitaire or watching Netflix).

Need to ask about the next day’s schedule in the middle of a show?  Better be ready to wait for a commercial; otherwise you’ll get a blank “huh?” once they finally realize you’ve spoken to them.

Looking for an opinion on kid drama from the day?  I’ve finally learned to announce my intention to speak by calling BrightSide’s name and then wait until he actually responds.  When I lead with my question I always (always) have to repeat myself because BS doesn’t cue in until he hears his name at the end.  Then I’m annoyed by both the kid drama and the feeling that I’m not being heard, which means nobody’s happy in that room.

I could go on and on but it comes down to one pretty basic rule: if I want to be sure I’m heard the first time, I make eye contact with BrightSide and wait for his full attention.  To say this can be frustrating for someone who blogs while snacking, checking e-mail, scrolling Facebook, and watching the Olympics is a bit of an understatement.  But again…real world.

Now here’s where the Darwinian questions come in.  Given the increased potential for dangerous (i.e. deadly) combinations, why aren’t men dropping like flies?  Walking into traffic while checking their text messages?  Setting the kitchen on fire when making dinner and watching the Masters overlap?  Driving their cars into oncoming traffic while changing radio stations or answering a call?

I’m truly befuddled.