how I’m killing it at this gig

It’s 11:00am, and I’m seriously considering making dinner tonight.

This is significant in a number of ways.  There are more days than I’d like to admit when putting an evening meal together just isn’t top of my list, and the times when I’ve made it a priority I’ve experienced what one might call a notable lack of positive reinforcement.  (Hello there, T-man and Bear.)

If I do manage to think about dinner, it’s usually a semi-panicky revelation right before BrightSide comes home.  As in oh crap, it’s 5:30, what on earth are the kids gonna eat?!

So for me to be thinking about making dinner, and at 11:00 in the morning no less, is a big step in the right direction.  Or it means I’m hungry for lunch.  Either way, I’ve gotten food focused.

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today’s Minion mini rant

Somebody who doesn’t like Minions?!  Say what?!?  As someone who lives with young(ish) kids I figured this would be enough to get someone deported.

“As someone who normally routes for the underdog, it isn’t without regret that I confess after trying to give them a chance and pretending to tolerate them for entirely too long, I’m ready to admit that Minions are without exception the most grating, insipid characters ever brought to life in a kid’s movie…

Let me begin with the appearance of Minions.

Bright yellow in color with a body that looks like an antibiotic that’s sure to make you reconsider the importance of health, Minions are the first answer that comes to mind if one were to answer the question, ‘What does it look like when Homer Simpson takes a dump?’ “

I Can’t Pretend Anymore: Minions Are The Absolute Worst — Sass and Balderdash

and cries of Gracie! ring out

It’s not uncommon to hear cries of “GRACIE!!” echoing through the house at all hours of the day.  Morning, noon, evening – it depends on when her scamp level is at its highest, and then you just have to pray any damage inflicted is relatively contained.

Let’s just say some days that works out better than others.

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Bella’s 6 step campaign for a TV

The never ending balancing act that comes with having more than one kid.

“Thus began Bella’s campaign for her own TV.  She started off slowly, asking Phaedra to turn up the volume on her TV so she could hear it from across the hall in her bed.  But when she started to disagree with Phaedra’s DVD choices, she started to get real.

I wish I had a TV in my room like Phaedra.”

The TV – 649.133: Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of.

mama moments 101

Are you concerned about flunking parenting?  That you’re scraping by with a C- simply by clothing and feeding your offspring?  Do you have the nagging feeling that you, and only you, are missing the genetic code explaining Garanimals, Lunchables, and Pokémon cards?

Fear not, brave reader.  You Are Not Alone.

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10 reads to bring a smile your way

For your reading delight on this Thursday morning:

“A snow day on a Monday is the ultimate parental kick in the crotch.”   ~ Valerie

Snow days tweets by the parents that are all of us.  Huffington Post, 2/9/17.

“Dear Ms. Johnson, 

This law firm represents Ore Sebastian Johnson, your miner – correction, minor – son.  You are hereby directed to cease and desist all defamation of Mr. Johnson’s character and reputation on social media.  Mr. Johnson has cause to believe you have been spreading false and exaggerated rumors about him to family members, friendly women from the Trader Joe’s checkout line, and high school classmates who are now nothing more than schadenfreude units of measurement.”

Baby Cease and Desist Letter – Sass and Balderdash

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the quaintness of our generation

quaint: (adj.) having an old fashioned attractiveness or charm; oddly picturesque

It’s the hiccup in every generation – we look at those that came before us and, almost without fail, see certain things as quaint.

Black rotary phones.  Manual typewriters.  Switchboard operators.  Penny candy stores.

It got me to thinking…what will my kids look back on as quaint in my lifetime?

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driver etiquette (aka how not to be a total a** behind the wheel)

At the risk of seeming like a know it all, I feel I have a variety of skills to offer my community at large.  I enjoy writing the blog, but there’s so much more.  I mean, you can take the teacher out of the classroom but you’ll never take the teacher out of…the…teacher?  You know what I mean.

Anti-bullying workshops with fifth grade girls.  Grammar interventions for elementary classes.  (What’s up with this sudden influx of “ain’t”?)  The power of journaling.

But first?  First I’d like to teach driver etiquette seminars.

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