I’m an avid reader. A writer. A mildly OCD grammarphobe. An English major. A grown ass woman with above average intelligence, for heaven’s sake. So why do I sound out certain words in my head every single time?
Sometimes it’s a long, slow drawl. Sometimes I’m adding an extra sound to suss out that silent letter. Whatever the reason, it seems there are some words I just can’t write out without these mental calisthenics.
Shoot. It looks like I need to add calisthenics to my list now, too.
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Cologne. Cuh-lown-ya. Co-low-n. Coh-loh-nwhu. Oh for heaven’s sake, I’ll just use perfume.
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Bologna. Spelling is just one of the reasons I’m grateful I don’t eat this oddly processed meat anymore.
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Quinoa. Seriously? Seriously?! That’s how you pronounce it? Well, okay…but now I’ve got a front tuck, roundoff, double back handspring, back layout sort of routine just to put it down on paper.
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Brussels sprouts. Don’t forget the s. Plural. Brussels. Yes, yes, I know the country but geography’s the last thing I’m thinking about when planning vegetable dishes. Which brings us to that capital B.
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Worcestershire sauce. Wor-chest-er-shur. Whir-chester-shurrr. Wer-chest-er-sure. No amount of spelling calisthenics has gotten me to spell this word correctly. Ever. Including in this blog post. Bless.
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Conscientious. Con-shee-en-shus. Con-s(c)hee-n-shus. Con-science-tious. I plod out those syllables like a determined Clydesdale along with the inevitable “versus conscious” thrown in for good measure.
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Hierarchy. High-er-arc-ee. Hi-er-arch-ee. Hi-er-arch-y. I can usually get there with this one.
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Colonel. Kernel…kernel…okay, so basically it’s nothing like the word. Co-lo-ne-l. WTF is wrong with this language??
This cracked me up. I loathe mispronunciations so, always (in my head) I correct people. I was in the grocery store and this older couple was on the hunt for quinoa. Only they said it wrong. **in my head** I resisted the urge to correct them. But bologna–I love to say it just like that! The hell with baloney! This was a fun read.
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Thanks! I actually had a lot of fun writing this one. ☺️
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I know what you mean! Some words are just weird. Here we just say baloney, and woostershire. I finally got my fingers to type consciousness the right way, because of the SOCS, but I still can’t spell it out loud (I just tried haha). One I’ve always had trouble with is the name Penelope. To me it’s always Penna Lope. Another if hyperbole, which to me should be hyper – bowl. 🙂
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Spelling out loud is horrifying!! I have conniptions watching spelling bees because there is seriously nothing worse than asking me to spell something out loud. It’s like my brain short circuits. 😂
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Yes, exactly! 🙂
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For Worcestershire sauce, I just say Lea & Perrins.
One of the tell-tale signs that you grew up in Pittsburgh is that you refer to Bologna (especially in ring form) as “Jumbo” – Don’t know why, but it’s true.
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Jumbo – well, that’s a new one on me. Huh.
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Whoops. Worcester is W’uster
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It’s a constant test, this language. At least we don’t also have to deal with male and female tenses (is that the right term?) too. And in Massachusetts Worcestershire is W’uster, so why?
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Indeed!! (Oh, and I never did pronounce W’uster right that year I lived in MA.)
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Ah – The joys of language and English in particular 😄
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They’ve made it particularly difficult.
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It’s all the fault of those other languages we assimilated to make up our mongrel version, Laura 😄
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😆
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Quinoa was difficult for me.
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I’m trying to teach my hubby how to say it. He’s not getting it either. 😂
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