1.  When I say I have zero time, y’all.

2.  ZERO TIME.

3.  Z-E-R-O  T-I-M-E

4.  But self care and all that jazz.

5.  Writing soothes the soul and if ever my soul could use some soothing…well, we’re there.

6.  I will say I’ve got a timer set for thirty minutes so if I drop off before 40 you’ll know what happened.

7.  It’s the last day of high school for the last kid in the house.

8.  Say it again for the ones in the back.

9.  IT’S THE LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL FOR THE LAST KID IN THE HOUSE.

10.  Are you tired of me yelling at you yet?

11.  I’m up, I’ve had my coffee, I played theme music for my daughter as she came into the kitchen.

12.  In case you’re curious, click here for the song.

13.  Yes, she rolled her eyes hard at that but I don’t care.

14.  FREEDOM, BABY.

15.  No more eyes popping open wondering if she’s up and getting ready.

16.  No more staying off the platform because she’s grown, dammit, and she’s got to be in charge of her grades.

17.  No more forms — BWAHAHAHAHAAAAA.

18.  Just kidding. College heard that one and was like “hold my beer.”

19.  The college paperwork is killing me. Just saying.

20.  But no more high school nonsense, dress code nonsense, what-do-you-mean-you-don’t-have-lunch-money nonsense.

21.  No, I’m not delusional enough to think —

22.  Timeout, the washer is making a strange sound and if ever there was a week when I don’t need my washing machine to croak…

23.  So I think it’s okay, maybe that’s just a tough spin cycle.

24.  Let us all manifest a strong appliance that WILL NOT flood the laundry room LESS THAN A WEEK before we have people into this house.

25.  Amen.

26.  Seriously, I’m a little concerned.

27.  Anyway, can you tell I’m excited about completing our parent version of high school?

28.  I know there are some of you who struggle with your kiddos moving on and I sympathize, I really do.

29.  It’s tough to watch them step on to bigger things, especially things that feel like the safety net is a little more nebulous.

30.  And if you think this celebration of THE LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL means I won’t be boo hooing at the graduation ceremony…

31.  I’ll just say this. My son graduated last year.

32.  Yes, back to back. It can be a lot.

33.  Anyhoo, I was just as ready to freaking celebrate his freedom from high school.

34.  One might call me jubilant.

35.  Seriously, I was unrestrained in my joy.

36.  So nobody was more surprised than me when I burst into uncontrollable sobs after he’d crossed the stage and accepted his diploma.

37.  Like, what the fuck? I’ve been dancing up and down all week. This is quite literally the end goal.

38.  I’m tearing up a little just thinking about it.

39.  Which means I’ll be jumping up and down for the next week but you know I’ll show up to that graduation with a fistful of tissues jammed in my purse.

40.  And maybe clear mascara for good measure. Bless it all.