1.  Alrighty then, let’s check back in on 40 things.

2.  How do the kids put it these days?

3.  Lessgo!!!!!!!!

4.  Or I suppose more accurately that would look like

LESSGOOOOOOOOOOOO

5.  Ahem.

6.  Fair warning: that’s 100% cringeworthy old lady usage of young people slang.

7.  Do not recommend unless you’re willing to withstand withering eyerolls.

8.  I’ve almost survived their teen years, man, I’m eyeroll proof.

9.  ish.

10.  It’s been a week, people.

11.  I’m betting if I gave you three guesses at least half of you would land on dentist.

12.  Winner winner chicken dinner and all that jazz.

13.  They took a scan last week. You know things are about to go down when the dentist comes in saying he has not-so-great and bad news.

14.  On the upside I learned what root resorption is so yay for science, I guess.

15.  The piece that well and truly took me out, though, was learning that my body dissolving one of its own tooth roots falls under “not-so-great” news.

16.  Seriously??

17.  When my dentist’s voice dropped an entire octave as he segued into “now, as for the tooth on the upper left…” I realized I’d underestimated the news I’d be receiving.

18.  You could practically feel that DUM DUM DUMMMMMMM vibe.

19.  I’ll spare you the gory details.

20.  Truth be told I may have blacked out somewhere around the description of reaching an infection by cutting through the upper palate.

21.  Spoiler alert: as someone who has since undergone a dental procedure it was indeed Very Bad News.

22.  But we’re not here to discuss dental procedures at length.

23.  What I will say is that at fifty-two I have fully embraced the idea of coping strategies as, well, useful strategies for real life.

24.  You’d be surprised how hard I had to argue against the omg it’s just the dentist SUCK IT UP mentality.

25.  Or maybe you wouldn’t, maybe you grew up just like I did.

26.  Anyway, this time I said hey, I’m not good, I’ll be taking something for anxiety.

27.  And you know what? The world didn’t stop spinning. They said okay, sure…and that was that.

28.  This time I said hey, I’m just gonna keep these AirPods in and listen to Spotify’s Music For A Mellow Drive.

29.  The world didn’t stop spinning at that one either. They were like cool, cool, now open up so we can jab numbing juice into your face.

30.  A lot went on in that chair, y’all.

31.  Monday morning was not mellow by any stretch of the imagination but I didn’t run screaming from the room and that, my friends, is a win.

32.  I’m writing this Thursday night and I’m trying to be a good sport, I really am, but nothing makes me crankier than food issues.

33.  After a number of missteps I’m buried in an avalanche of oatmeal.

34.  Peanut butter toast? Too sticky. Onion rings? Too scratchy.

35.  Lettuce? Soft, somewhat wilty lettuce? Nope again.

36.  Turns out even the milkshake that soothed me through years of braces was an extraordinarily bad idea.

37.  So here I am on the second day straight of oatmeal, thinking murderous thoughts as I heat up mushy food.

38.  You wouldn’t think you could hurt yourself eating oatmeal, but you’d be wrong.

39.  You wouldn’t think mushy banana pieces in said oatmeal could cause shooting pain but turns out you’d be wrong about that too.

40.  Let’s recap. Survived the horrific dental procedure only to find myself longing to drive off a cliff for want of actual food. These are wondrous days indeed.