Do you celebrate your birthday or is it just another day?

After trying both I’m a mix of the two. The year we threw ourselves a big birthday/new year’s eve party was inexplicable. Somehow I’d let the neighborhood convince me since BrightSide and I were both turning forty we should absolutely host a joint bash at our house despite the fact that a) I don’t love being the center of attention and b) I don’t exactly love being a party host. I came out the other side with what we southern folks describe as I got some STORIES y’all 👀 but overall was not a fan. The flip side is that making it another trip around the sun is worth celebrating, it’s just that my version looks like really great takeout on our sofa.

Did you have birthday parties as a child?

I remember enough to know I did but not enough to know if they went well. I remember a sleepover I had one year — one of the girls there was actually a bridesmaid at my wedding.

Were there any special ‘traditions’ for the birthday person in your household?

I’ve always told my kids they could choose what they wanted for dinner on their birthdays. I assumed that came from my childhood but now that I’m sitting here I can’t pin down the memory. Let’s just say that’s true and keep it moving.

What was the worst birthday you had?

The year my mom was in hospice. A bunch of family was here so my dad asked us to bring pizza and cake to the hospice home because mom would want me to celebrate. I hated that fucking birthday. I was grieving so hard but people pleasing tendencies die screaming so I ate pizza and smiled and pretended something was normal about what we were doing.

Looking back now I see how her being pain free in her last days was my greatest gift. Goodness. And now I have a whole new way to look at that last birthday with her.

Gratitude:

Today’s realization about my last birthday with mom, big cat energy, lazy cat energy, and the fact that Gracie still gives us that big goofy grin every day.

Pensitivity101 hosts Share Your World.