1.  Let’s bring out that southern drawl today.

2.  Y’alllllllllll.

3.  The southeast is dealing with some weather shit right now.

4.  Just kidding, I know weather is popping off all over the country.

5.  It goes without saying the devastation in Texas is horrifying.

6.  North Carolina is currently in the crosshairs so I’m gonna talk about that.

7.  Why? Because I’m here and it’s what we’re living through, not because it’s more important than Texas.

8.  The things I feel compelled to say…phew.

9.  Anyhoo. This has been happening.

10.

11.  And this.

12.

13.  And all of this.

14.

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18.  Water. So much water.

19.  And now because we all had crazy flooding last weekend every bit of ground is saturated.

20.  Which means all the storms that have popped up this week prompted more flood warnings.

21.  One town nearby is on a boil water advisory.

22.  Another one has enacted mandatory water restrictions after the water treatment plant was submerged under six feet of water.

23.  Stage 5 restrictions require all non-essential industries, businesses, and offices to cease operations while residents follow restricted use guidelines.

24.  So much water while also, ironically, so little.

25.  I believe there were six flooding-related deaths in North Carolina.

26.  It’s been an especially trying week.

27.  We’re in the south, though, and North Carolina summer always brings its own brand of challenges.

28.  By July we’ve reached peak everything — peak humidity, peak sweat stains, peak sunburn potential, all of it.

29.  Have to run into a store at high noon to grab something?

30.  There’s a 99% chance you’ll burn off a layer of thigh when you plop back into your car.

31.  Have to take an animal to the vet?

32.  There’s a 99.9% chance you’ll amp up the internal temp on their little climate controlled bodies just waiting for the car’s a/c to kick in.

33.  For reasons surpassing all understanding companies send people out to walk these neighborhood streets in the hellfire that is July.

34.  Internet. Phone companies. Landscaping services.

35.  Some genius somewhere thought let’s send them overheated onto people’s porches, THAT’LL get customers lined up.

36.  For real, I have serious concerns about heat stroke.

37.  If you’re not around and living with this heat too consider leaving a few bottles of water in a “please take one!” cooler on your porch.

38.  At the very least you might make some delivery driver’s day.

39.  So, in sum: Don’t drive into any amount of water. Watch for weather alerts. Stay dry, stay safe, stay hydrated.

40.  And happy Friday.