If a doctor tells me “well, the simplest version of this procedure will have you healed up in two weeks but if we have to…” just say less. You might as well start with the complicated version as that’s the only option my body has ever chosen. EVER EVER. Seriously, just give me worst case scenario and keep it moving.

Keeping your foot elevated for every waking moment really will keep your swelling down. Sleeping moments too, if you can. Do the thing, y’all.

It will not spare you the pain of a broken bone though. Ain’t no way around that one. Sorry.

Did Drunk Anesthesia Laura babble on to her nurse about how much we love them and how grateful we are for them while that woman was just trying to get me dressed? Yep, pretty sure I did. Point valid though I bet my meandering language made it a little fuzzy.

Hand IVs are the worst damn stick ever.