Hospice has this incredible group of support staff for the families whose loved ones have come into their care.  The nurses are on the front lines, watching over those in the room, but there’s a multitude of people ready to step in and help.

One of those women is named Kathy.

We met with Kathy in the family room at the Hospice Home.  She’s a counselor with Kids Path, their branch of counseling support devoted to helping children whose loved ones have died.

I first heard about Kids Path when I met Brooklyn’s mom.  She told me how amazing they’ve been for her son over the years, and that it’s a wonderful resource if we ever were to need it (to which she quickly added she hoped we never would).  It turns out that I met her nearly a month to the day we lost mom…it’s funny how stories can collide this way.

At any rate, one evening after work BrightSide brought the kids so that the five of us could sit down together and talk.

This shouldn’t have been an earth shattering conversation, although there was an element of surprise for me when Bear (while sitting in a hospice facility) asked if her grandma was going to die.  But I guess that’s why Kathy was there – to give the kids a neutral adult to talk to, someone they could safely ask any question without worrying about causing me pain with their curiosity or her glossing over the truth to protect them.

After we spoke for a while, Kathy helped the kids do the neatest thing.  She talked with T-man and Bear about fingerprints – how every single one is unique and very special because it belongs to one particular person.  As they talked they rolled balls of clay, warming it with their hands until it was ready.  Then we all headed into mom’s room.

Kathy helped each one make a memory thumbprint with their grandma.  She held the ball of clay so that mom’s thumb was resting on it then helped each child place their hand on top of mom’s, gently guiding them as they pressed down so that their grandma’s fingerprint would be embedded in the clay.

Bear was being extraordinarily gentle, leaving only the slightest imprint on her red clay.  T-man pressed a bit more firmly, producing an clearly visible print of the swirls and lines on mom’s thumb.  We stepped into the hallway afterward to marvel at the keepsake they would always have.  The clay would be baked and later strung with memory beads, so whenever the kids wanted to feel tangibly closer to mom they could place their finger on hers.

Kathy was wonderful with the children – everything about her was open, honest, gentle, and kind, a spirit that T-man and Bear really responded to.  She encouraged me to call, anytime, if the kids wanted to spend more time with her.

These people and the gifts they’ve shared with us…there simply aren’t enough words to express our gratitude.

MemoryThumbprints