In honor of our 22nd, I’m revisiting last year’s anniversary post.
BrightSide, you’re my rock. I will forever be grateful to have you as a partner on this journey.
“Forever Family: do the math
It’s a special day for us. BrightSide and I have been married 21 years today. Twenty-One Years. Yup. That’s a long time. Not as long as our parents have been married, as T-man matter of factly pointed out, but still…”
Crackle, crackle, crunch crunch.
Hear that? Those are the eggshells scattered all over our floor these days.
BrightSide and I are not typically a fly by the seat of our pants sort of couple. I keep a
crazy absurd ridiculously detailed calendar. We coordinate schedules. We make plans. When we leave town we have an itinerary, even if large blocks of it are dedicated to Down Time.
I’m not gonna say we always go by the book, but we definitely aren’t used to tossing the book out the window entirely.
Until last weekend.
We’re navigating tempestuous waters here. Some days it’s smooth sailing, others the sea is gray and choppy with a tornado warning to boot, but BrightSide and I are in this for the long haul. You take what life throws at you and keep on swimming.
Wasn’t it just yesterday these kids were all skinned knees and fighting over whose turn it is? Wait, that was yesterday. But you know what I mean. We’re swimming with the sharks these days.
But to survive the sharks, all you need is a plan.
I’ve read that Gotcha Day can be a hard concept for adoptees. The idea zeroes in on a narrative that says “we’re so lucky you joined our family [and therefore you are so lucky we came along]” and shies away from what might be difficult about this particular day. Skirting the pain of feeling abandoned by a first family, ignoring the possibility that a child might be torn between what is and what could have been.
I acknowledge this and honor the possibility that May 31 might stir conflicting feelings in your heart. So here, in my little corner of the world, I’d like to sing my praises for this day.
We dreamed of having children, and when we didn’t we waited for you.
We dreamed of being parents, and one day your birthmother trusted us to be your family.
We dreamed of being a mom and dad, and one day we were blessed to call you our son.
We dared to dream, and then you were there.
Today I’ll tell you I love you, each and every day. That I’m blessed to be your mom, and what a joy it is to watch you growing into a strong, smart, kind young man.
BrightSide: Why is this called 5 from my Tribe?
BrightSide: Why don’t we do four questions? There’s four of us –
T-man: That’s what I was wondering!
me: You would bring that up.
Bear: Dad! Because five rhymes with tribe!
BrightSide: Five, tribe – well, it’s a slant rhyme…
Yep, we were off to a roaring start that night.
I’m having a wee bit of trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that Bear turns eleven today.