the milestones come fast and furious

In honor of our 22nd, I’m revisiting last year’s anniversary post.

BrightSide, you’re my rock.  I will forever be grateful to have you as a partner on this journey.

Forever Family: do the math

It’s a special day for us.  BrightSide and I have been married 21 years today.  Twenty-One Years. Yup.  That’s a long time.  Not as long as our parents have been married, as T-man matter of factly pointed out, but still…”

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gratitude: there goes the book

BrightSide and I are not typically a fly by the seat of our pants sort of couple.  I keep a crazy absurd ridiculously detailed calendar.  We coordinate schedules.  We make plans.  When we leave town we have an itinerary, even if large blocks of it are dedicated to Down Time.

I’m not gonna say we always go by the book, but we definitely aren’t used to tossing the book out the window entirely.

Until last weekend.

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parenting: the ultimate shark attack (aka survival skills for the teen years)

We’re navigating tempestuous waters here.  Some days it’s smooth sailing, others the sea is gray and choppy with a tornado warning to boot, but BrightSide and I are in this for the long haul. You take what life throws at you and keep on swimming.

Wasn’t it just yesterday these kids were all skinned knees and fighting over whose turn it is?  Wait, that was yesterday.  But you know what I mean.  We’re swimming with the sharks these days.

But to survive the sharks, all you need is a plan.

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wcw – family is family

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.”  Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents.  Families are made in the heart.  The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut.  If you cut those ties, those people are not your family.  If you make those ties, those people are your family.  And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.”

– C. Joybell C.

gratitude: our not-so-little T-man

I’ve read that Gotcha Day can be a hard concept for adoptees.  The idea zeroes in on a narrative that says “we’re so lucky you joined our family [and therefore you are so lucky we came along]”  and shies away from what might be difficult about this particular day.  Skirting the pain of feeling abandoned by a first family, ignoring the possibility that a child might be torn between what is and what could have been.

I acknowledge this and honor the possibility that May 31 might stir conflicting feelings in your heart.  So here, in my little corner of the world, I’d like to sing my praises for this day.

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We dreamed of having children, and when we didn’t we waited for you.

We dreamed of being parents, and one day your birthmother trusted us to be your family.

We dreamed of being a mom and dad, and one day we were blessed to call you our son.

We dared to dream, and then you were there.

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Today I’ll tell you I love you, each and every day.  That I’m blessed to be your mom, and what a joy it is to watch you growing into a strong, smart, kind young man.

Forever Family: 5 from my Tribe 5/26/17

BrightSide:  Why is this called 5 from my Tribe?

[blink, blink]

BrightSide:  Why don’t we do four questions?  There’s four of us –

T-man:  That’s what I was wondering!

me:  You would bring that up.

Bear:  Dad!  Because five rhymes with tribe!

BrightSide:  Five, tribe – well, it’s a slant rhyme…

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Yep, we were off to a roaring start that night.

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