Forever Family: leap of faith

Everything about adoption screams leap of faith.

Believing with all your heart that this is the right path.  Accepting that the plan for your family includes a great deal of uncertainty.  Understanding that this ambiguity doesn’t dissolve when the adoption finalizes; rather, it will insert itself back into your lives at entirely unpredictable moments.

Holding faith that you will love your children into and through every storm.

Adoption demands the same leap of faith from children.

Believing they are deeply loved for the people they are, not for a perfect image they try to project, then working to strengthen that belief when it falters.  Finding safe space to talk about anxiety buried within, and asking for help instead of hiding fear away.

Holding faith that they are bright, beautiful souls in the world, worthy of love and respect by their very presence on this journey.

our whirlwind road trip back in time

Our family ran away this week.  In what can only be called a whirlwind road trip we drove to D.C. on Tuesday afternoon, spent the night with BrightSide’s sister, and then we all went to the African American Museum on Wednesday. 

We drove back Wednesday night and got in well after midnight, so my apologies if you dealt with any of our short tempered exhausted selves today.

But the museum…my word, the museum.  Tomorrow’s Forever Family will have our reflections on the experience.  I strongly recommend visiting when you’re able to plan a trip to our nation’s capitol.


Please note:  Entrance is free since the museum is part of the Smithsonian, but due to demand you must obtain a timed entry pass.  There are several options.  Same day timed entry passes are available online beginning at 6:30am ET until supply runs out.  There are a limited number of walkup passes available beginning at 1:00pm daily.  Advance online passes are released monthly and are claimed quickly.  The next release will be for January 2018 passes and is on Wednesday, October 4th at 9:00am ET.  Click here to read more or for links to pass availability.

gratitude: little brothers all grown up

When I look at T-man and Bear I dream of a day when they’ll enjoy a relationship like I have with my brother.

He’s a constant.  A steadfast force in my world.

He always lends an ear when I need another perspective and unwaveringly supports my decisions.

He loves my kids for the looney tune individuals they are and encourages me in my writing.

He inspires me every day – to be strong, brave, and make the world a better place.

I am truly blessed.

gratitude: the whole truth and nothing but the truth

Ah, the power of sisterhood.

She’s the one who promises she’ll always tell you if your hair looks whack.

She’ll point out the insanity of killing yourself over school projects or car rider lines.

She’ll commiserate over teen angst, girl hormones, and middle school drama.  Plus offer wine without judgement.

And she’s the one who promises to point out your chin hair when you get too old to see it yourself.

Bless.

gratitude: there goes the book

BrightSide and I are not typically a fly by the seat of our pants sort of couple.  I keep a crazy absurd ridiculously detailed calendar.  We coordinate schedules.  We make plans.  When we leave town we have an itinerary, even if large blocks of it are dedicated to Down Time.

I’m not gonna say we always go by the book, but we definitely aren’t used to tossing the book out the window entirely.

Until last weekend.

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wcw – family is family

“There is no such thing as a “broken family.”  Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents.  Families are made in the heart.  The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut.  If you cut those ties, those people are not your family.  If you make those ties, those people are your family.  And if you hate those ties, those people will still be your family because whatever you hate will always be with you.”

– C. Joybell C.

gratitude: our not-so-little T-man

I’ve read that Gotcha Day can be a hard concept for adoptees.  The idea zeroes in on a narrative that says “we’re so lucky you joined our family [and therefore you are so lucky we came along]”  and shies away from what might be difficult about this particular day.  Skirting the pain of feeling abandoned by a first family, ignoring the possibility that a child might be torn between what is and what could have been.

I acknowledge this and honor the possibility that May 31 might stir conflicting feelings in your heart.  So here, in my little corner of the world, I’d like to sing my praises for this day.

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We dreamed of having children, and when we didn’t we waited for you.

We dreamed of being parents, and one day your birthmother trusted us to be your family.

We dreamed of being a mom and dad, and one day we were blessed to call you our son.

We dared to dream, and then you were there.

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Today I’ll tell you I love you, each and every day.  That I’m blessed to be your mom, and what a joy it is to watch you growing into a strong, smart, kind young man.