more than a few people lately: Were you talking to me?
me: Oh, nope, just talking to myself.
people brave enough to ask: About what?
This is what I say:
What I still need to get on the school supplies list.
What I’m actually muttering:
Will those jeans we ordered come in time? In the right size and color? It will take a vat of wine to survive another trip to AE.
How is it I never ever ever pick the right checkout line?
“I bring people together” – you can bite my ass you horrible, disgraceful, rude, dismissive, divisive, abusive racist.
Maybe I should have bought the yellow binder.
Did I set up the dog sitter?
Is there enough dog food in the bin?
Gracie’s probably destroying something right now. Dammit.
So if I divide the price by the ounces and compare it then the smaller one is the better deal…weird…
NO, it is NOT socialism you stupid, motherfu –
Of course I respect the office of the president. I cannot respect the man sitting in it.
School shopping. They were freaking Back to School shopping and now there are littles who don’t understand why they haven’t come home.
God, I miss mozzarella sticks.
Seriously, girl, do you not understand the lengths I’ll go to so I don’t have to call someone? I will figure out this online ordering if it kills me.