This is my brain.
Get to bed. Go to sleep. Wake up once to pee.
***************
This is my brain when I have to get up at 4am.
1. Okay, you need to go to bed early. You’ve got to get a good night’s sleep. Come on, you’re a grown up, make sound choices.
2. Climb into bed at 11:00pm. Can’t get to sleep until closer to 11:30pm. What the what, man?! How hard was it to just go to bed by ten? SHEESH.
3. Wake up at midnight. Might as well pee.
4. Wake up at 2:00am. Ugh. Might as well pee.
5. Wonder if my commitment to hydration means I’ll never sleep well again.
6. Wake up at 3:30am. Narrowly avoid throwing phone across room because COME ON. Pee a third time because why not. (Yes, BrightSide, this is why our water bill will be higher this month.)
7. Climb back into bed. Realize heartburn is kicking in from late night chips and dip. Regret poor life choices.
8. Accept going back to sleep just means I’ll be furious when that 4:00am alarm goes off. Plus I always use my GET UP GET UP GET UP alarm at hideous hours and that means Green Day blasting American Idiot. Not a subtle waking.
9. But maybe it’s worth it. Maybe that thirty minutes will be the difference between functioning and snarling at my kid. But maybe that thirty minutes will finally drop me into a deep sleep, one that means I miss my alarm, and then my kid might oversleep, and then he might come flying in here panicked because he’s gonna miss the bus, so we have to speed to the school, but then we could get in a wreck – OMG, WOMAN, JUST GET OUT OF BED.
10. Okay, I’m up.
Riddle from the Middle 
I think our brains might be related! Hope your day is better than your fitful night.
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One can hope. I’m having a bit of trouble motivating…wonder what that could be about. 😆😆😆
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Thanks for this, now when I wake up I will hear a rolling commentary just like this instead of whatever song hits my internal playlist.
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Then I see my job here is done. 😆
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Oh let me tell you. So last night we go to bed around 10:30. I usually am asleep by 11:00 because my wife and I talked some. 11:30, no! 11:45, mo. 12, 1230, 1245, no! 1:00! Who knows when I finally slept. Now it is 3:30 and I am here writing this! Thanks a lot!😉
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You have my most heartfelt UGH in this moment. I’d say something all glittery like “some of our best writing happens at 3 in the morning” but that might just make you throw your computer across the room. Good luck today. I recommend coffee. 🙂
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Just night before last I selpt from 9:30 PM until 6:45, so I know how, but for whatever reason last night my mind decided overtime was in order. Now I have a laundry list of To Dos that seemed a great idea at 1:30 AM
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Oh yeah, I will resurrect my old joke one more time. If it was up to me Juan Valdez, from the 1970s and 1980s T.V. coffee commercial would still be riding his donkey. I can;t stand the stuff. I have never darkened the door of Starbucks.
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I know the feeling. I went 36 years actively hating everything from the smell to the one sip somebody insisted I try because “it’s BLUEBERRY coffee, you’ll love it!” (spoiler: I didn’t). Our second kid was my downfall. We were at the beach with my family and I realized desperate times called for desperate measures – lots of creamer and sugar later I was set.
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I hope you get a good night’s sleep tonight!
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Thanks, Jim. Here’s hoping!
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When my kids were little, I can remember once telling a friend, “You know, you really don’t need as much sleep as the studies say you do. Two hours? Good enough.” I’m glad those days are over.
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Oh yes, we tell ourselves lots of things to get by. “Sleep, schmeep” would be one. “Chocolate is the sixth food group” would be another…
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I so hear you. With my new regime it’s a daily tanker full of lemon water. Maybe because Ive not git any stodgy food inside me to absorb the water but I might as well try to sleep on the toilet.
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Oh yes, I remember it well. How many days do you have left to go, do you know? All I can say is hang in there. And accept that you’ll wear a path in the carpet. 😉
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4 a.m.? Uh…. 😐 I suppose it was necessary, but dear me what trauma!! It’s obligatory, you realize, that any early hour rising time comes with mandatory pee breaks all freakin’ night long. Murphy is evil.
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Murphy’s Law runs this house, no doubt. I suppose I should be grateful it struck overnight and not by, say, dropping an enormous traffic block between our house and the school. 🙂
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Haha, Laura, this has made me laugh myself silly. I am exactly the same when I have to get up early and I also take every opportunity to wee which is so disruptive to a good nights sleep. Great post.
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Gotta love a good giggle. It’s easier to do the morning after than in the middle of the night! 😉
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Absolutely
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I feel your pain and trips to the throne. Hydration has it’s down side.
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Indeed. It does get rid of the headaches though.
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Well that is true. And when you think about it it helps with thigh exercises going to and fro.
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I refuse to look at the alarm clock when I wake up multiple times a night now. Nothing good can come from me seeing the ungodly hour and persistently doing the math of how much sleep time is left. More often than not to do fall back asleep even if just dozing. Pity that I am always in the best sleep of my life when the blasted alarm clock goes off.
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Isn’t that the truth! REM sleep is a cruel mistress. 😆
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If this were playing out in our house, the cat would be screaming to be brushed every time you visited the bathroom. So, to take a page from your hubs, there’s always a bright side.
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I’m always grateful when my dogs ignore me as I come and go. Gracie sleeps on the floor beside me and she’s even cool if I accidentally step on her. 😆 That’s definitely a bright side!!
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Oops! How like my story. But now I don’t have water after dinner, no caffeine in the evening and no screens before bedtime ( mostly) that has helped me get better sleep.
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Most nights sleep goes okay, it’s just those times when I have to get up WAY earlier than normal and there’s a stressor like a flight we can’t miss. I guess my brain just won’t shut off.
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That’s true. This getting up early is a real stressor.
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