A few years back wrist pain reared its ugly head. Long story short carpal tunnel decided to try kicking my ass. I was — and this cannot be overstated — DISPLEASED.

So when shrieking pain popped up again last year I hustled back into my doctor entirely convinced the carpal tunnel had punched a return ticket. I was several notches past displeased but thought I had a handle on what I was facing. It wasn’t good but I’d kicked it before so time to dig in, buttercup.

You could’ve knocked me over with a stick when the doc said “Laura, your wrist bone’s out.” I’m sorry, out? Out where?! Out HOW?? WHAT DO WE MEAN BY OUT???

At the risk of seeming zen, “out” is more of a state of mind right up until the point when a doctor puts your bone back in place. The moment he popped that sucker back in I felt pain on a color spectrum. Have you ever experienced pain that felt fuschia? Or technicolor? Or maybe just white lava? It was clarifying in a fairly traumatic way.

It took him three tries to get the bone to stabilize. Over the next six months he had to put it back in a few more times. The pain sucked. The procedure to stop the pain sucked. So basically that wrist was always hurting, just finished hurting, or about to hurt.

Fast forward to today. For a couple of weeks now the pain had been amping back up. I was preparing for same dance, different day, but the pain escalated and they got me in early.

You could’ve knocked me over with a stick when the doc said “Laura, your bone is in.” The irony is rich here, I know, but WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S IN??

And this, dear readers, is where those of you with delicate sensitivities go to your happy place for just a moment while I tell everyone else that once again my best “you’ve got this” pep talks failed mightily once I heard that motherfucking carpal tunnel decided to scream PSYCH and light my entire limb on fire.

Again.

I appreciate a doctor who tells it like it is. When discussing treatment plans he straight up gave the pros/cons for an injection but said clear as day, full disclosure, I’ve had this injection, it goes straight into the nerve and it will HURT. It will feel like I shot fire into your hand.

No lies were told.