The Man Who Can

It doesn’t seem right that fathers only get one day a year in their honor. (It’s not right that mothers do either, but that’s a rant for another day.)

It’s certainly not fitting that so many things in our culture flat-out mock fatherhood. I mean, I like good comedy as much as the next girl, but have you watched any kid shows lately? The parents on those things are idiots. All things being equal, though, if one parent is going to be a slightly less competent, more bumbling fool than the other, it’s always the dad.

The dad is the beer swilling, football obsessed guy in the recliner, threatening his daughter’s dates when they come to take her out. He’s the guy who works too many hours at his blue collar job, only showing up at home to eat dinner and yell at his kids. Or he’s the workaholic businessman, the one who wears a coat and tie and is always at the office, hopelessly out of touch with his family or cheating on his wife.

Most of the Father’s Day cards out there feed this frenzy. The greeting card section is filled with options if you’re looking for Nascar fan or fart jokes. Golfers get a disproportionate amount of attention, as does fishing and mowing the lawn. Oh, and grilling out. Apparently dads are all about the grill, according to the multitude of card companies jockeying for my cash.

You know what’s not in great supply? The Father’s Day cards that thank dads for the very real, very hard, and often thankless work they do. Sure, you can find a section of sugary sweet cards that sing angelic praises to the perfect father in your life, but I’m always in search of the card that seems, I don’t know…real.

So I’m saying the hell with it and writing my own.

My (cyberspace) Father’s Day card for BrightSide:

Thank you. These words cannot possibly recreate the feeling in my heart when I think of all you do for this family, but I will try.

Thank you a million times over for being such a wonderful dad for T-man and Bear. They’re our greatest blessing, and having you in their lives is one of the awesome gifts God gave them when He brought our family together. They know deep down in their souls that you have a love for them that is vast and true, and it’s a love that they will carry with them the rest of their lives.

Thank you for showing them that love is patient, kind, and ever-present, regardless of mistakes or lies or words hurled at you in anger.

Thank you for always being there. At the end of a long day, when you’re exhausted and need to regroup, but they’re pulling at you to spend time with them. Cheering them on in their endeavors, academic and athletic. Always ready with praise for a job well done or a kind word when they’ve had a bad day. This steadfast love, the way you’re there for them no matter what, is something they absorb into their very core.

Thank you for being That Dad. The one willing to shoot baskets in 90 degree heat. The one who jumps out at them yelling “ha!” and then scoops them up as they giggle. The one who admires artwork, Tae Kwon Do, musical talent, and schoolwork with equal enthusiasm. The one who handles spiders, snakes, and silverfish. The one who meets them in both places: the grown kids who need decisive parenting, and the little kids who still crawl onto your lap to watch tv.

Thank you for demanding that they do their very best, and for helping them understand why that’s important. For celebrating their accomplishments and guiding them as they learn from their failures. For showing them that even parents make mistakes, say they’re sorry, and then learn from it.

Thank you for giving them the very best example of a good man – your steadfast love for your children, and the devoted love and respect you show me. T-man is seeing how to grow into the honorable man he can be, and Bear is taking in what true love looks and feels like. The example you set now will be her guide later on as she listens to her heart.

Parenting can be a thankless job. There are days when the work is long and the rewards are meager, but you never seem to forget the end goal. You are a wonderful dad because of all the things above but, perhaps most of all, because you always keep in mind that you are guiding T-man and Bear as they become the people they’re meant to be. Thank you for being that good influence as we navigate these sometimes tricky childhood years.

May you receive back tenfold all the blessings you send out into the world by being such an incredible dad. Happy Father’s Day.