today’s Minion mini rant

Somebody who doesn’t like Minions?!  Say what?!?  As someone who lives with young(ish) kids I figured this would be enough to get someone deported.

“As someone who normally routes for the underdog, it isn’t without regret that I confess after trying to give them a chance and pretending to tolerate them for entirely too long, I’m ready to admit that Minions are without exception the most grating, insipid characters ever brought to life in a kid’s movie…

Let me begin with the appearance of Minions.

Bright yellow in color with a body that looks like an antibiotic that’s sure to make you reconsider the importance of health, Minions are the first answer that comes to mind if one were to answer the question, ‘What does it look like when Homer Simpson takes a dump?’ “

I Can’t Pretend Anymore: Minions Are The Absolute Worst — Sass and Balderdash

Bella’s 6 step campaign for a TV

The never ending balancing act that comes with having more than one kid.

“Thus began Bella’s campaign for her own TV.  She started off slowly, asking Phaedra to turn up the volume on her TV so she could hear it from across the hall in her bed.  But when she started to disagree with Phaedra’s DVD choices, she started to get real.

I wish I had a TV in my room like Phaedra.”

The TV – 649.133: Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of.

mama panic – the struggle is real

Mornings have a certain flow.  Roll out of bed, grab a quick shower, throw on the clothes that (if I was smart) I laid out the night before.  If I’m really lucky I’ll manage to get through all of this without hearing that knock and plaintive, “Mom?” at the door.

A girl can dream.

But when one part goes awry, well…that’s when the train really goes off the rails.

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kickturn, drop in, and ollie like a champ

It’s been a few years since T-man decided to join the skateboarding crowd.

This seemed a bit random at first.  I mean, there weren’t any kids into it in our neighborhood and as far as I knew none of his classmates were hardcore skaters…but you know T-man.  He’s usually good with going his own way.

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So it only took one visit to the skateboard park on a trip to grandmom’s and we entered the world of All Things Skater from there.

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7 parenting pet peeves that drive me to distraction

Picking noses.  Dropping clipped toenails on the floor.  Leaving dirty dishes in the sink.  I’d say these are some pretty common annoyances across the general population.

I think we can agree that parenting brings its own particular brand of pet peeves to the party.

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Forever Family: tawny, russet, sepia, umber

Bear and I used to read The Colors of Us by Karen Katz together.  She’d ask to hear it almost every day.

“My name is Lena, and I am seven.
I am the color of cinnamon.
Mom says she could eat me up.”

Lena wanted to paint a picture of herself, but her mom pointed out that brown isn’t merely brown.  Bear would ooh and aah as she turned the pages, absorbing the medley of shades in Lena’s neighborhood.

The children’s picture book took a simple approach, describing each character’s skin tone as something the main character understood…french toast, honey, butterscotch, peanut butter, chocolate cupcakes, nutmeg.  Bear would point excitedly at a page and name someone she knew who looked like that.  She never tired of naming which skin tone was hers, and it was her favorite game to match people we knew to characters in the book.

The book’s message is clear: brown is not simply brown.  Brown is a palette.  Brown is beautiful in a hundred ways.

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vultures by any other name…

So here’s what I want to know: why don’t I weigh 115 pounds?

For real.  Not because I’m exercising or watching what I eat or meditating myself into a zen space where I no longer feel the desire to overeat.  I’m wondering why on earth I don’t weigh 115 pounds because I eat with vultures.

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Forever Family: beauty’s in the eye of the beholder

It’s been years since I watched Whoopi Goldberg’s “long blond hair” segment in her stand up routine, but it’s something I’ve never forgotten.  Whoopi plays a young black girl who dreams of being white.  She drapes an old white skirt over her head, smoothing it as if stroking her luxurious hair.  The character wistfully hopes to become white with long, blond hair so she can appear on The Love Boat.

The implications are clear: beauty is measured by a white world’s standards, and those standards are what you aspire to if you want the American Dream.

While we talk a good game about diversity in American culture – models of all shapes, sizes, and colors; movie roles for minorities; increased visibility for people of color on television – you can’t expect the tide to recede just like that.  It took a long time to shape our culture, and it won’t change back overnight.

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