Tonya of Fourth Generation Farmgirl, who’s always got something fun and interesting up on her blog, invited me to participate in the Freestyle Writing Challenge.  This one was a leap of faith into something simultaneously exhilarating and terrifying — speed writing?  Sweet!  Having no idea what the topic would be?  Ummm, okay.  Not being allowed to edit before posting?  Ack!

I have to admit up front that it just didn’t occur to me to shut off the auto-correct function on my word processing program so there were a few typos (but only three or four) that got fixed along the way. Mostly I’m just a fast typist with an OCD personality who’s really into spelling and grammar.

Gee, it’s almost like this challenge was tailor-made for me.  Except for that whole “no editing” part. That’s just a little terrifying.  And it also means you’re in for a delightful example of my stream-of-consciousness writing.

So here are the rules:

  1. Open a blank document.
  2. Set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes, whichever length you prefer.
  3. Your topic is at the foot of this post BUT DO NOT SCROLL DOWN TO SEE IT UNTIL YOU ARE READY WITH YOUR TIMER!!!
  4. Once you start writing do not stop until the alarm sounds!  Do not cheat by going back and correcting spelling and grammar using spell check.  (It is only meant for you to reflect on your own control of sensible thought flow and for you to reflect on your ability to write with correct spelling and grammar.)
  5. You may or may not pay attention to punctuation or capitals.
  6. At the end of your post write down the number of words and writing time to give an idea of how much you can write within the time frame.
  7. Put the whole document onto your post and nominate 5 others and give them a new topic. Remember to copy & paste the rules in!

My challenge was:

That moment that took your breath away.

DSC00965

When I saw the topic “that moment that took your breath away” I froze up just a little. “That” moment? You mean ONE? How am I supposed to pick just one? Well, here goes.

I guess if I have to pick a moment that literally took my breath away I’d have to say it was seeing Bear when she was wheeled into the nursery’s visitor room. BrightSide and I had spent the entire day waiting (not always patiently), knowing that she was in the hospital – the VERY SAME BUILDING as us – but that we couldn’t see her. And that we couldn’t demand to. Because adoption is this very funny (“strange” not “ha ha”) dance of “I’m dying inside, I have to hold her now” and “but I can’t because the woman who actually gave birth to her isn’t ready or maybe there’s some other reason that no one’s telling me, oh god, maybe she’s changing her mind or her parents are agreeing to help or the birthfather has finally convinced her that he’ll be around”. It’s filled with “please please please let her be mine” and a soft cushion around your heart so you won’t shatter into a million pieces if she isn’t. Only you know that you’ll shatter for sure.

So when we’d finally reached the end of Bear’s birth-day (is that how you say that?) and we were sitting in the nursery’s side room waiting for them to bring her, I was still in this fugue state of “this can’t be real.” But then they rolled that bassinet through the door with her tiny little body inside and I literally stopped breathing. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t talk, all I could do was feel all the love I’d stuffed down inside me all day long well up and spill over into the room.

I couldn’t look at her long enough — her tiny hands, her little nose, the way she was all wrapped up like a tiny burrito (well, I guess it would be a BIG burrito, but you get it). Everything about her was mesmerizing. I could have stared at her all night, held her long into the morning hours until the nurse took her from my sleepy arms, she was THAT amazing to me. And as BrightSide and I sat in that room, taking turns rocking our daughter, I had to remind myself to breathe, to take it all in, to believe it was real.

Word count: 411

Time: 10 minutes

My nominees:

I chose five writers whose blogs are always interesting to read.  They each have a unique voice and perspective on the world around them.  (For my nominees: as always, this is all in good fun with no obligation to participate.)

Storyshucker

Random Writings on the Bathroom Wall

Orthodox sunflower

Girl on the Contrary

Abby Has Issues

***Scroll down to learn what you’ll be writing about!***

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

>>

**Topic:  What’s your biggest fear or greatest dream?

There’s no obligation!