We’ve got spirit
yes we do,
we’ve got spirit
how ’bout you?

Oh, these long, long days of elementary school…reading logs and flash cards.  Homework folders, #2 pencils, and letter grades.  Field days and cafeteria drama.  Good times.

After enrolling as runny nosed midgets who can’t walk in a line, kids slowly adapt to school culture.  They learn to take turns in the bathroom and use up all the paper towels.  They figure out which kickballs are the good ones and how to get an extra turn on the tire swing at recess.  They even gain an appreciation for certain cafeteria foods.

By the time kids move on to middle school they’ve morphed into nearly functioning humans.

Now don’t get me wrong – I’ve been All In with elementary school for at least seven years now, and that doesn’t even count the years I taught it.  I’ve done the PTO, class parent, and tutoring thing.  I’ve volunteered for teacher luncheons, brought classroom supplies, and chaperoned field trips.  I stepped up for class crafts and teacher appreciation weeks without fail.

But as Bear heads into her last couple of months as an elementary school student I’ve gotta admit…I’m done.  I’ve logged our minutes, practiced math facts, signed homework folders, and hauled coolers for field days for years now and I’m done.

Okay, fine, I’m sure there’ll be a part of me that sighs the tiniest of sighs when I realize both kids have moved on to middle school.  But I’m pretty sure that sigh’s gonna be pretty freaking quiet.

Because you know what else elementary school loves?  Spirit days.  Spirit weeks.  Themes out the wazoo.  And mama ain’t got no mo’ time for that sh*t.

I’m rolling on through trying to track homework, projects, chores, and sports schedules without missing school deadlines.  Plus I do have certain responsibilities of my own, and these people that live with me keep wanting to eat dinner so there’s the food issue…it’s, like, life around here all the time, man.

But you know what we really need?  Dr. Seuss week.  Because on top of my real life I really want to remember that Monday is Hat Day, Tuesday is Be A Star, Wednesday is Wacky Tacky, Thursday is Crazy Socks, and Friday is Oh The Places We Will Go.  Then I’d like to be privy to the meltdown that occurs when someone-who-shall-not-be-named cannot find the very particular item for the following day.

And how about Spirit Days?  Now, it’s hard to actually complain about spirit days because they’re fundraisers for Relay for Life and what kind of cold hearted b*tch wouldn’t want to raise money to fight cancer so I suck it up and put those things on the calendar.  They’re spread out over the year so it’s not too overwhelming – pajama day, hat day, favorite team day, career day – but it’s just one more thing not to forget, you know?

Now I do have an acute objection to Twin Day.  They started that one three years ago, just in time for Bear to be heartbroken because the friend she wanted to twin with was already twinning with someone else in her class and her other best friend wasn’t even in her room…and on and on and on.  I ask you: does anyone who has girls or was a girl or knows a girl think this is a good idea?  Am I the only one who sees Twin Day as ripe for disaster?  Apparently so since it keeps popping up on the calendar year after year.

But again, Relay for Life, so we suck it up.

Now we’re looking at thirty-eight days left in the elementary school sphere – thirty-eight days – and then I’m out.  O-u-t, OUT, baby.  I’m tagging in all those kindergarten mamas and papas, the ones just starting their uphill climb through field trips and forms, while I salsa my way out the door.

We’ve got spirit, yes we do.  We just don’t necessarily need Wacky Tacky day to show it.