1. North Carolina just wrapped up its first week of a Phase One reopen. I have some feelings.
2. One of the requirements to begin Phase One is a 14-day downward trend in new confirmed COVID cases. From May 3 to May 7 new cases actually increased by 484. We reopened on May 8.
3. Mm-hmm.
4. The new case count dropped on May 10 and 11. But there were 20 more cases May 11-12 then it went up another 169 between May 12-13.
5. I’m not sure what will happen once we see the real fallout from those crowded Mother’s Day weekend venues.
6. I’m not gonna drag you further down into the numbers here. Let’s just say we aren’t hitting all the necessary metrics for a reopen, and what happens next will say a lot about how much politics is influencing public health decisions.
7. My job got harder this week.
8. Because the state “reopened” and people are shopping and kids are hanging out and now I’m officially the least popular parent on the planet.
9. No, go on, step back. They’ve already crowned me and everything.
10. These kids don’t care that the numbers are still going up. They don’t care that the virus is still dangerous or that we’re reopening because the hospital has room now.
11. They only care that I won’t say yes to friends coming over.
12. I am so.freaking.tired.
13. I’m tired of being the weakest link. I’m tired of being the reason they can’t just be careful enough to get by.
14. I’m tired of feeling like dead weight.
15. And now I’m whining like some six-year-old who dropped her ice cream cone.
16. I miss grocery shopping. Do you know how stupid I feel missing grocery shopping?!
17. It’s like saying I miss getting my cavities drilled.
18. No, that’s not fair. I despise the dentist; grocery shopping was merely annoying.
19. Little did I know there’d come a time I’d look back with fondness on popping in my AirPods and losing ninety minutes.
20. BrightSide shops now but the sum knowledge I’ve gained over the years is impossible to impart on a Cozi list.
21. “2 avocados (ripe if give slightly when pressed gently with thumb)”
22. “Chicken broth base (next to broth in soup aisle)”
23. “Pepcid (berry flavor, I’ll text a pic)”
24. I won’t even bother trying to explain the thump and smell method mom taught me for testing cantaloupes. It’s an art, man.
25. Don’t get me wrong, he’s doing great, it’s just harder.
26. Plus ninety minutes all to myself…cue dream sequence music.
27. I dunno, though, people are kinda rude right now.
28. Seriously, I’ve heard at least four stories of parking lot road rage plus countless more about über grouchy shoppers in the stores.
29. I try to keep a cool head but given my sleep situation I wouldn’t trust myself not to toss that avocado right at someone’s head.
30. I talked about my sleep trouble already. It was bad. So, so bad.
31. But then I had this lovely stretch of better. I took melatonin, I put lavender in the diffuser, and things improved. Until Wednesday night.
32. Wednesday night all that jerk-awake-with-a-galloping-heartbeat stuff came roaring back with a vengeance.
33. To say it sucked is the understatement of the year. Here’s hoping Thursday night goes better.
34. I refuse to spend any more 2:00ams torturing myself in bed, though. I’ll entertain suggestions for insomniac activities now.
35. Kitchen stuff won’t work – it’s too noisy plus the smell of bacon or muffins has been known to pull young folks out of bed around here and there’s no way I’m dealing with other people at two in the morning.
36. I suppose I could take up juggling or yoga or interpretive dance. But if we’re honest it’s much more likely I’ll hurt myself trying to do any of those things while sleep deprived.
37. Perhaps we’ll just stick with coloring mandalas. That seems safe.
38. The one thing I absolutely, positively never do is open twitter. That thing sucks you right in. (If you have some random 3:00am retweet from me just let it pass as an anomaly, ‘k?)
39. Inevitably I stumble across some nonsense Trump is spouting and poof! there goes my blood pressure. Not at all conducive to going back to sleep.
40. So there you have it: no twitter, no juggling, and no activities that might involve pulling a muscle. Who’s got a 2:00am suggestion for me?
I so relate to your state of being. I went out today, masked and gloved. I haven’t left the house in ages. My dog keeps me sane. Melatonin helps some days and others not at all. I can’t figure out the rhyme or reason.
Personally I turn on Friends when I can’t sleep. It is on every night from 9 PM until 5 AM. I can sometimes fall asleep to the drone of the shows I know by heart. I refuse to read in the middle of the night because I don’t want my body to think reading induces sleep. LOL
Good luck.
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Hmm, interesting perspective on the reading thing, I see your point. Otherwise it’ll induce napping in the afternoon when you’re just trying to catch up on a good read. 🙂
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I know how my silly brain works.
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I’m tied for worst parent. Yay us! I’ve all but given up on sleep. It’s overrated right? Somehow all I can think is just shoot me now! I’m overthinking everything and just need it to stop. What’s the right thing to do? All I feel is Damned if you do damned if you don’t.
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That is 100% my mood. You’ve nailed it.
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Get a subscription to the Sacramento Bee and start reading any story at 2:00 AM. You’ll be asleep by 2:04
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This sounds like the voice of experience, John. 😆
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Yes, indeed.
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hmmmm – show me the clip of re-opening the economy and don’t skip the section where we keep the EMS, Fire and Rescue, and ER staff going at full blast. They don’t suffer from burn out and lack of immunity do they ? Sorry I prefer a plan to a race any day. When do those new t-shirts come out ? You know the ones that say ‘ I am not a covid-19 lemming. Reopen the economy with a plan. And keep the ER calm and boring’
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I bet the healthcare workers dream of the days when shifts were long and boring. And I would buy that t-shirt, John.
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Here I am, not missing grocery shopping. I don’t really mind staying home, although I do miss the occasional cup of coffee with friends. As to reopening – I think it’s going to make things worse. Our state is starting a “partial reopening” today – yet the numbers of new cases of Covid-19 have not gone down. I guess guidelines are meant to placate, not to be abided by.
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From what I understand very few states who’ve begun reopening actually meet the guidelines announced. Maybe they think we’re not paying attention? I don’t know. I’ve accepted this is a long haul thing but I have to say, deep in my heart of hearts I’m a little terrified in August they’ll tell us our kids have to start the school year with remote learning. This spring has nearly torn us apart at times.
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I sure hope not!
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Oh, Laura, I could feel my heart racing as I read your post. I empathize with so much of what you say. My sleep has improved, though. I downloaded a mindless word game on my iPad and it helps me pass sleepless times, allowing my eyes to tire and induce sleep. I also have a YouTube video of 6 hours of relaxing music that helps lull me back to sleep. We, too, are in N.C. and it amazes me how no one is wearing masks much around here. We still do grocery pickup and I miss strolling through Fresh Market and Publix. The pandemic writing courses have helped me by encouraging to get the thoughts out of my head and onto paper. It is a struggle because just being home and performing daily tasks makes me feel like the world is safe, but as Maury Povich would say “and that was a lie”. Hang in there! I feel the same anxiety.
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Thanks, Maggie. Just hearing that others are fighting the same battles really does help. I should try the long YouTube loop thing, that might help when I need something other than “why can’t I sleep??” thoughts to fill my head.
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So hope you have a lovely weekend. I miss grocery shopping as well. It was a time for feeling part of humanity and a time for feeling like I was in control of something important. Here we have basically kept bars and cinemas shut but sent as many people back to work with no planning. We don’t really count infections like other countries but have suddenly decided to use the infection rate (R) as king. Germany gives the R number to two decimal places. We say is somewhere between .7 and 2 and then say it’s sort of stable, possibly – so everything is cool. Time to hide behind the sofa with chocolates I think.
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Oh yes, chocolates will definitely be crucial for surviving this particular period. Sorry to hear you’re missing the mundane errands, too. I think you’ve summed it up well — shopping did make me feel like I had some kind of control, or maybe it’s that NOT being able to shop makes me feel out of control of almost everything house related.
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Old movies on AMC, preferably those where men were gallant and women were beautiful and the good guys always won, and everyone could sing and dance and make you laugh. Even if you don’t fall back to sleep, you’ll feel better when it’s time to be Hagar the Horrible.
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Hmm, there’s a thought. I’ve never turned on the tv because I can’t nap while it’s on but maybe it’d be different in the middle of the night. Thanks, Dan.
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Just don’t watch the news!
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You’re doing the right thing to keep your family safe. I worry about those who are jumping back into life like nothing is out there. Hopefully one day, kids realize and appreciate what their parents did.
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Yeah, I don’t have much room to complain though. I didn’t appreciate my folks until I was older. 🤷🏻♀️
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I think that’s the same with most of us.
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I long to shop in a grocery store again. And to read the news, anywhere, and not see anything referring to The Donald. I hear ‘ya. This is such a difficult time to be living in. Little makes sense. It is all tiring.
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IT IS. I’m looking forward to Saturday’s commencement special with Obama and Clinton. It’s running on the networks, too, so I have the double whammy of seeing intelligent speakers and the knowledge that it’ll irritate the current Oval Office holder. Win-win. 😊
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i get this on so many levels. one of my friends is sharing quarantine with her husband, while in the middle of a divorce, her heading into senior year teen daughter who blames my friend for all of this, is surly and angry most of the time, and made a cake with a f@#$ the virus decorated on it, and her senior graduating autistic son. thank god for the german shepherd.
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Oh. My. Word. She has the weight of the world on her right now, doesn’t she. Dogs can be angels in disguise.
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Absolutely
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Insomnia is hard, to say the least. Hope the weekend treats you better. Hugs.
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Thanks, Sadje. Fingers crossed.
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You’re welcome! Take care.
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