We’re a couple of days out from a time honored American tradition: walking our kids house to house, collecting sugary treats in buckets or pillowcases, wondering if a) we can steal that snickers bar before our kid realizes it’s gone and b) there’s any chance we’ll make it home before one of the littles has to pee.

Ah, memories.

I’ve started straight up admitting to people that Halloween has never been my favorite holiday. The stress of getting kids settled on a costume (do I want to be a princess? or a zombie?? or an intergalactic space zombie bride???) then into their costumes, the frenzy of getting them to eat something “real” before loading up their digestive system with candy, the inevitable conflict when they want you to carry the fourteen costume accessories that you TOLD THEM they wouldn’t want on Halloween night…it’s just a lot, y’know?

My oldest recently told us how sad that year was when we just turned off the lights and basically hid — this was well after he outgrew trick or treating, I’m not a monster — and all I could think was YOU try enthusiastically saying “you look amazing” six hundred times after a long day and then we can talk. It may sound super bah humbug-ish but trust me, those kids didn’t want any part of my energy that year either.

Now let’s see if our candy lasts until Thursday.