1.  It’s been less than two months since the last 40 Things.

2.  Whoop whoop for…Ugh. I’ve got nothing.

3.  Breathing? I guess whoop whoop for breathing.

4.  Also for keeping my computer charged.

5.  I’m working on a 2017 laptop and about a year ago I started wondering how long it will hang in there.

6.  It started when the G key began sticking.

7.  This doesn’t exactly sound alarming but it got harder to ignore once I was repeatedly dealing with an extra g or three.

8.  So far I’ve resisted the urge to embrace Augggust, ragge, and gguess as fashionable spellings but I make no promises for what’s to come.

9.  While a sticky G is annoying, the looming battery issue seemed more critical.

10.  My laptop started holding a charge for shorter periods.

11.  For those of you who’ve never had reason to ask it turns out rechargeable batteries have a cycle count.

12.  My technology hardware knowledge failed me — I figured battery runs down, plug laptop into electricity source, battery charges back up. Problem fixed, right?

13.  So while it’s true recharging makes the magic happen it turns out there’s a finite number of times a battery will do this.

14.  Further research shows once you reach the magic cycle count number your battery doesn’t succumb to sweet death with a grand farewell but instead, according to tech speak, “You may notice a reduction in battery life.”

15.  So it’ll still work fine but maybe not hold a charge as long?

16.  Or I can just freaking work with the laptop plugged in?

17.  My cycle count’s at 745. Is this website telling me when I hit 1000 my machine won’t instantly explode?

18.  I guess the sticky G might be the more critical issue after all.

19.  I’ve been baking a fair amount lately and you know what’s amazing?

20.  A homemade loaf of white bread.

21.  It is the unfanciest thing I could possibly bake but it’s magic.

22.  You know what tastes unbelievably good when made with homemade bread? Everything.

23.  Egg sandwiches, grilled cheese, french toast, garlic bread — it is all top notch, weep tears of joy into my napkin good with this bread.

24.  Exhales a happy sigh of carb-y goodness.

25.  You know what else you can make at home? Bagels.

26.  It’s true! People are like oh, that’s so complicated but not really, you just follow the recipe.

27.  To be fair I’m talking plain straightforward bagels. Even I took a step back when I checked out this recipe for Panera Cinnamon Crunch Bagels.

28.  I just wasn’t ready for all that, although I imagine people hooked on Panera would be more motivated.

29.  I’m happy enough with my plain bagel.

30.  If I feel like being fancy I just add flavored cream cheese. I’m a fan of strawberry or chives myself.

31.  And that’s my carb update.

32.  I’m sure you’ve been waiting with bated breath.

33.  You’ll notice I’ve made it to almost the end of 40 Things without dipping a toe into the shit show that is American government right now.

34.  Am I taking a break?

35.  It’s not so much a break as a fear if I start picking at the threads of what’s unraveling I’ll spiral out and end up posting word vomit on the blog.

36.  February goals: no word vomit posts.

37.  Seems like a low bar until you sit in an endless 24 hour news cycle thinking for fuck’s sake DOESN’T ANYONE SLEEP ANYMORE??

38.  See? Better to sidestep for today.

39.  Maybe tomorrow too.

40.  Okay, kids. Drink your water, do some deep breathing, touch some grass, and have a good weekend.