1.  Tick tock, run out the clock.

2.  August is rolling and students are on the move.

3.  Last week we were helping our youngest launch — cue the glitter cannons — College Life, Year Two!

4.  This week students return to our hometown university.

5.  Today is student move in day, otherwise known as HereTheyCome day.

6.  I’ve been caught off guard on move in day once or twice over the years and the price is steep.

7.  Let’s talk Surviving The Swarm tips.

8.  Eat at home.

9.  Restaurants are crammed to capacity with all of humanity.

10.  Families taking their students out for one more “decent” meal, roommates grabbing a bite, exhausted employees who can’t fathom cooking…

11.  Long wait times, stressed servers — just do yourself a favor and skip the restaurants.

12.  You’ll want to skip the shopping too.

13.  Target and Walmart facilitate a man-the-bunkers atmosphere during move in weekend.

14.  Costco, Sam’s Club, or BJ’s offer the airy illusion of a massive space but will also be overrun by people financing student living.

15.  Grocery stores feel slightly less like a high stakes challenge on Survivor but still, exhausted humans in tight spaces with shopping lists can be a high wire act.

16.  So if you’re smart you’ll put off any sort of shopping ’til the circus leaves town.

17.  Truth be told, if your destination is located in the same complex as any of the aforementioned stores I’d postpone that outing too.

18.  There was a heightened parking lot experience a few years back by Target and that memory still puts me in a cold sweat.

19.  So that’s don’t eat out or go shopping or get trapped in overcrowded parking lots for the next few days…

20.  Seriously, just avoid the places with all the stressed out college families, your blood pressure will thank you.

21.  Plus tequila.

22.  Tequila never hurts.

23.  Just kidding.

24.  Drink responsibly and all that jazz.

25.  What else, what else…

26.  The Texas GOP is pulling some shit.

27.  That’s nothing new.

28.  That being said even I didn’t anticipate they’d unlawfully confine a democratic lawmaker to the Texas House floor when she refused to agree to being in the custody of Texas law enforcement.

29.  Then on Wednesday Texas Republicans passed the new congressional maps creating five new Republican-leaning seats.

30.  Just in time for those 2026 midterms.

31.  That’s not sketchy at all.

32.  There’s some predictable discord in the vaccine world this week.

33.  After RFK Jr. gutted the committee of health experts that provides guidance on vaccine use to the CDC we have some guideline recommendations that do not appear to be science based.

34.  The American Academy of Pediatrics released their own COVID vaccine guidelines that diverge significantly from the CDC’s recommendations.

35.  Cue RFK Jr.’s cranky posts on the social media platform X.

36.  But the AAP don’t care because science is gonna science regardless of RFK’s Big Beautiful Feelings.

37.  [tiny break here while I cuss out this whole motherf*ck*ng timeline]

38.  And that’s the tiniest blip of what’s been happening this week.

39.  You got some good stuff going on? Please tell me you’ve got good stuff going on.

40.  I think we could all use a little pick-me-up.