It was the end of a (long, exhausting, seemingly endless) day, so naturally I was hiding in my closet.

Technically I was putting on my pajamas, but since children spontaneously burst into my bathroom without warning I’ve been driven to changing clothes behind a second door.  Luckily I’m blessed with a walk-in big enough for this function.  Not so luckily, the kids know it’s my hideout.  Which makes it a not-very-good hideout.

Anyhoo…I was putting on my PJs one evening when Bear came skidding in.

Bear:  Mom!  You know that song “I like big butts”?!
Me:  Yeah?
Bear:  Sing it!
Me:  Um, okay…(Imagine a music note inserted here.  And me.  Busting a move in my closet.)  “I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can’t deny / that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist / and a round thing in your face / you get sprung.”  (That’s about as far as I can get from memory so I looked at Bear and cocked an eyebrow, praying fervently that she wouldn’t ask me what “sprung” meant.)
Bear:  Yeah, but what comes after “butts”?
Me:  “and I cannot lie”
Bear:  DARN IT!
Me:  What?!
Bear:  T-man and I thought it was “I like big butts in a can”!
There was a moment of silence before I burst into hysterical giggles.
Bear:  You should see your face!
Me:  I’m too busy picturing big butts in a can!!


For real, people.  I can’t make this stuff up.