It was the end of a (long, exhausting, seemingly endless) day, so naturally I was hiding in my closet.
Technically I was putting on my pajamas, but since children spontaneously burst into my bathroom without warning I’ve been driven to changing clothes behind a second door. Luckily I’m blessed with a walk-in big enough for this function. Not so luckily, the kids know it’s my hideout. Which makes it a not-very-good hideout.
Anyhoo…I was putting on my PJs one evening when Bear came skidding in.
Bear: Mom! You know that song “I like big butts”?!
Bear: Sing it!
Me: Um, okay…(Imagine a music note inserted here. And me. Busting a move in my closet.) “I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can’t deny / that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist / and a round thing in your face / you get sprung.” (That’s about as far as I can get from memory so I looked at Bear and cocked an eyebrow, praying fervently that she wouldn’t ask me what “sprung” meant.)
Bear: Yeah, but what comes after “butts”?
Me: “and I cannot lie”
Bear: DARN IT!
Bear: T-man and I thought it was “I like big butts in a can”!
There was a moment of silence before I burst into hysterical giggles.
Bear: You should see your face!
Me: I’m too busy picturing big butts in a can!!
For real, people. I can’t make this stuff up.