today’s Minion mini rant

Somebody who doesn’t like Minions?!  Say what?!?  As someone who lives with young(ish) kids I figured this would be enough to get someone deported.

“As someone who normally routes for the underdog, it isn’t without regret that I confess after trying to give them a chance and pretending to tolerate them for entirely too long, I’m ready to admit that Minions are without exception the most grating, insipid characters ever brought to life in a kid’s movie…

Let me begin with the appearance of Minions.

Bright yellow in color with a body that looks like an antibiotic that’s sure to make you reconsider the importance of health, Minions are the first answer that comes to mind if one were to answer the question, ‘What does it look like when Homer Simpson takes a dump?’ “

I Can’t Pretend Anymore: Minions Are The Absolute Worst — Sass and Balderdash

Bella’s 6 step campaign for a TV

The never ending balancing act that comes with having more than one kid.

“Thus began Bella’s campaign for her own TV.  She started off slowly, asking Phaedra to turn up the volume on her TV so she could hear it from across the hall in her bed.  But when she started to disagree with Phaedra’s DVD choices, she started to get real.

I wish I had a TV in my room like Phaedra.”

The TV – 649.133: Girls, the Care and Maintenance Of.

put a little shock and awe into your parenting

I dropped one of these on T-man and Bear in the car and they fell out.  In a good way.  But that was probably because it was only our family present.

I’m pretty sure they’d prefer I use my own generation’s language in front of their friends, lest they seem less lit.

“Here’s the thing – I don’t know what a story is.

It’s on Instagram and SnapChat.  Right?  Maybe What’sApp, but that’s less likely.  Anyway, I know it’s like a place where people can, I don’t know, write something like a blog post?  It’s kind of a big deal, I gather.  Yet, no, I don’t know its parameters.

That’s okay – I’m 45 after all.”

5 Words I Know (That My Kids Know I Shouldn’t Know) – Coach Daddy

an education on skanks, boogers, toilet seats, and good pizza

Because in concept raising boys is a wonderful thing…in reality, sometimes it means getting down to the nitty gritty if you want to send decent men out into the world someday.

“There is a list making its way around Facebook about 25 Rules for Mothers of Sons.  Have you seen it?

It’s a very pleasant, feel good, vanilla-flavored list with lots of cute little things like ‘teach your son to do laundry,’ ‘learn how to throw a football,’ ‘let him get dirty,’ and that sort of thing.  I am not going to attack this woman or her list.  (I learned my lesson the last time I did that.)  I think the list is fine – for her.  It’s just not my cup of tea.

Instead I decided to pay homage to her and make my own list.  Here goes:

1.  Teach him what a skank is so he’ll never bring one home.”

People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Rules for Raising a Boy – 18 (Because 25 Was Too Hard To Come Up With) Rules for Mothers of Sons

Not every day can be a good shoe day. Apparently.

Because sometimes it’s good to know these things happen to other people, too.

“So apparently, per the news, Seattle is having a Winter Storm Warning, aka WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE IN A FROZEN TUNDRA OF DEATH!!!!

Now I was aware of this, but may have slightly forgotten about it when I was getting ready this morning and picking out my shoes for the day.  My beautiful 3 inch stiletto heeled shoes.

Shut. Up. I. Know.”

Chivalry is dead.. and buried… and then someone dug it back up and peed on it… and then buried it again… with a dead fish…which stinks… literally. | But That’s For Another Blog


ps – This one is front runner for the Best Post Title EVER award, which is a totally made up thing but still highly coveted among us wordy wordsmiths.

why older parents have no idea wtf the dating world is like for our kids

Apparently the kids these days have embraced a “talking” phase in dating.  Best I can tell it’s an opening salvo of we like each other but do we LIKE like each other?  Enough to stop seeing other people?  We’re not 100% sure so why don’t we just text until one of us is driven insane trying to read the level of interest between the lines.

Sounds like good times indeed.

“One minute, everything’s great.  He’s texting you back, you’re procrastinating your homework because finding out if you two are more like Noah and Ally or Sandy and Danny is more important than school.  Then BAM.  Out of nowhere, you’re with three of your friends, on your bedroom floor, deciphering texts like mad scientists, looking for any possibility or inkling that he may have the same feelings as you have.”

Total Sorority Move | The Talking Phase Is Ruining My Life

the Valentine’s Day interview

For those of you looking for a fiery Valentine’s Day.  Bonus points for ridiculously opposite answers.  Happy interviewing!

“Our friend Beefy posted this little thing on Facebook the other day, and my reply was, ‘This looks like a great way for The Mister and I to bicker with one another for 10-20 minutes! How romantic!’

Who’s older?
Him
Apparently he was in a big, fat hurry to get here and I played hard to get

Who was interested first?
Me, but then him and then me and then him, and well, that went on sometimes not at all and also for over a decade”

We Don’t Do Valentines | joeyfullystated

are you ready for some football?

You’d be hard pressed to find someone less interested in football than I am.  Seriously, the game holds zero appeal, even (brace yourselves now) during Super Bowl weekend.  Because I’m old and crotchety I don’t even bother with the pretense anymore, which leads to a lot of painful pauses when people ask who I’m rooting for and I respond with some variation of “couldn’t care less.”

I’ve decided to become socially awkward in my middle age.

At any rate, this should tell you something about this post on Nickworthy…any football post that can hold my attention for longer than twenty seconds brings the funny.

“A few points of interest to help you get ready for this year’s Super Bowl!

  • This year’s big game is Super Bowl LI, which is pronounced Super Bowly.
  • The Patriots are led by quarterback Tom Brady…
  • Many people believe that Brady, who is considered by some to be the best quarterback ever, was originally inspired to play football by the Brady Bunch quarterback heroics of Greg Brady.
  • Ok, ‘many people’ may be a stretch, but I like to think that’s true.”

A few thoughts about Super Bowl 51: A historic grudge match named after a toy – nickclaussen.com