one totally unhip mom’s translation of Hot 100 song titles

Full disclosure:  Being as unhip as I can possibly be, just because I’m writing about it doesn’t mean that I’ve heard it.  Frankly, I didn’t have the wine on hand necessary to listen to multiple hits off the Hot 100 list yesterday.  This is the result.

I’m The One – DJ Khaled et. al

Well, Khaled’s mama doesn’t need to worry herself about self-esteem issues.  This fella’s got oodles and oodles.  DJ Khaled’s got so much confidence he’ll even record with Justin Bieber without worrying his rep will take a hit.

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sickSunday was no fun day.  Well, technically neither was most of Saturday night, but the chickens really came home to roost yesterday.

We had this whole complicated plan worked out for church where BrightSide would take Bear to early service & I’d bring T-man for the late one…all I know is by 3:30am I was on the couch, trash can by my side, with a Post It reading “Up sick overnight.  Someone tell dad.”

Sunday’s plans were shot.  So this is what I’ve got – just enough to say I’m sick, boo…time for another nap.

good advice comes from everywhere. even bananas.

Here’s an idea I wish I’d known about while the kids were still fans of taking bananas to school.  We’ve entered some sort of anti-banana stage – they get smushed or they’re brown by lunch time – so now they linger in the kitchen bowl.  But who says my bananas can’t speak wisdom to me?

“And so now, depending on who you ask, I am an adult.  I am no longer navigating the hallways of my elementary school, wishing my hair dried straight and begging my mother to buy me Umbro shorts.  But I have different problems.  Adult problems, which like child problems are often very silly and yet which also feel totally crushing and completely insurmountable.  And my mother does not write on my bananas anymore because I am the mother.  I pack my own lunch.  So on a whim, to help me make it through the year, I wrote out some bananas of my own. These bananas are technically for me, since they are all things I need to hear now and then.  But I am putting them here in case any of them are also for you.  If you want them.  And if you don’t want them because your mom packed you a fruit roll up or those crackers with the cheez spread, no sweat.  It’s cool.  I am used to being the one with the weird lunch.”

Reasonably Good Advice Written on Bananas | The Ugly Volvo

when did we all turn into Grumpy dwarves?

I can’t say I’ve been called an easygoing soul.  Frustration, irritation, and overwhelming annoyance at rudeness or general incompetence  – those emotions used to roll off me in waves, and I wasn’t very good at disguising them.

I was what BrightSide kindly described as overly emotional.  Even I recognized (after the insanity passed) that my feelings hovered close to the surface, and it didn’t take much to make them boil over.

I won’t claim those emotions are long gone.  It’s just that I’ve learned a little bit about taking a deep breath and counting to ten.

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Monday’s musings

Monday’s random musings, splashed across the screen for your perusal.

»  Why does Mexican food have so many calories?  It’s completely dee-lish and tastes great with beer (hello, more calories).  Plus almost every dish tastes better with a healthy dose of sour cream and guacamole (hola, mucho calorías).  It seems completely unfair that eating real food that tastes fabulous instead of fast food that tastes fabulous earns me a 1600 calorie count.

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appliances for the app generation

BrightSide and I were watching TV on Sunday afternoon – well, I guess that’s not really accurate.  I came into the family room to watch TV with him, but once I realized he had golf on it became more of a “hanging out in the same space” sort of thing.  ‘Cuz golf.  You know.

Regardless.  I was working on the blog when a commercial caught my eye.  It was for a new washing machine by Whirlpool, one that will magically inspire your teenager to do their own laundry.  Uh huh.

But it got me thinking…there’s a reason I don’t work in the advertising agency, and that’s because I took one look at that commercial and did the real life translation in my head.

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